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If you have to explain a joke, it’s no longer funny. On the other hand, if someone keeps cracking the same joke and you have no idea what they hell they’re talking about, they’re an annoying dick and you have the right to punch them. (We’re pretty sure it says so in the Constitution.)
We like being self-referential buffoons, but we also don’t like being punched. You see our dilemma.
So Tatsunoko vs. Capcom kicked our brains into high nerd, and now with Aliens vs. Predator blowing our minds with the crossover potential, we wondered what would happen if our favorite game companies put differences aside and synergized the shit out of all the stuff we love in the name of greater capitalism!
TalkRadar UK #26 is here, with Matt Cundy as your host
Video game heroes are often tough. But there's always something that they can't do. Some trick their enemies could utilise if only they were smart enough.
So we've done it for them. Felons of the virtual realm - here is a print-out-and-keep guide to help you best these badass heroes.
How to kill... KratosDefy his existence
How to kill... BayonettaCut off her hair when she's not looking. Now she's powerless.
Picking up roughly two years after the events in Splinter Cell: Double Agent, Conviction puts you into the role of one very angry Sam Fisher and aims to strike a new balance between tip-toe snooping and punchy action.
The Winter Olympic Games have begun and we don’t care. How could the curling or figure skating events possibly capture our attention when BioShock 2’s calling out to us from unfrozen waters with its siren’s call? Then again, if BioShock 2 can make objectivist philosophy and 1930s jazz cool again, couldn’t videogames make sucky snow sports fun to watch as well? Let’s find out
Snapping an alien’s teeth through a human face is gruesome. Pouring rounds out from a pulse rifle at flickering silhouettes is scary as hell. Lifting your claw to claim a trophy skull is simple fun. And with developer Rebellion returning gamers to the world of Aliens vs Predator today, there’s never been a better time to glance back at some of the best games to embrace the Alien, Predator and AvP films.
It feels like ages since LA Noire was announced. It went quiet for so long, we even agreed in the office that it would never see the light of day. But suddenly, Team Bondi's crime thriller has emerged blinking into the light (probably due to all the time it's spent in darkened rooms with only slits of Venetian blind light for illumination) and details are everywhere like scattered cigarette ash on a pulled-low Trilby
Our amigos in the animal kingdom do the darndest things, don’t they? Rolling around in shit. Playing poker in iconic paintings. Whopping you at Wii tennis. What, you didn’t know that your pets could totally annihilate your ass at games? If you need further proof just cast your peepers down below to see a variety of chimps, cats and dogs totally owning everything from Pac man to Metal Gear Solid. Hell, your gerbil’s probably
Our first trip to Rapture was a revelation. We didn’t realize first-person shooters could be so daring, so intellectual and so beautifully bizarre while still satisfying our action-hungry trigger fingers. And yet… we weren’t sure we wanted more. We feared a second trip to Rapture would be less a revelation than a familiar retread.
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