Dead Rising

There's something about misguided attempts to amuse children that bring with them a unique streak of terror, and nowhere is that more apparent than with the noble clown. Intended to be a harmless jester with a painted face and a slapstick approach to life, the image of the clown has instead become associated with creeping dread and paranoid mistrust.

Videogame developers have tapped into this instinctive fear of clowns, and that's why the realm of interactive entertainment is chock full of nightmarish harlequins that haunt our dreams and ravage our days. You’ve probably been sleeping far too well lately, so why not keep yourself awake with thoughts of some of gaming's scariest clowns? Go on, they won't bite... except for the biting ones...

Unless you're the main character, the comic relief or Lan Di, most jobs in games are monumentally shit. Oh sure, Jimmy Saves the Girl might get to shoot aliens and bed busty chicks between the hours of nine to five, but what about all the other poor schmoes that aren't lucky enough to land the limelight? They end up in dead-end positions that the average gamer will never appreciate, that's what.

We're not even talking minimum wage stuff here. More like fatal 'you probably won't survive your first day in the job' work situations. So if you see any wanted ads for Burger Shot, Willamette Mall's food court or a mystery gig selling guns to a government agent, take our advice: keep the hell looking.

After pumping goodness knows how much time, energy and capital into their baby, the last thing a developer wants is for it to fade into bargain bins unnoticed. You could tie it to a well-loved motion picture, thus ensuring a pre-existing audience… but what if you can’t afford the license? Then it’s time for what charitable reviewers might call “paying homage!” Here are 20 games that are just really, really big fans of their cinematic cousins… copyright be damned.

Incestuous. That’s the best way to explain the ongoing relationship between horror films and games. First games stole from films in early licenses like Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, then horror films stole from games, most obviously in the ‘works’ of Uwe Boll like House of the Dead and BloodRayne.

You don’t have to see or play absolutely everything on this list to be a proper zombie connoisseur, but you should at least know them. These are the genre’s defining relics. Some are responsible for the very creation of the zombie mythos, others adapted and advanced it, while the rest simply encapsulate it so exquisitely that they must be experienced. This may not be everyone’s definitive list of zombie lore

We're used to being the good guys. But did you ever stop to think about it from the enemy's point of view? Wouldn't our heroes look completely different? 

Of course, just as in the real world, wartime imagery and alternative views of the enemy could undoubtedly be perpetuated with some propaganda posters… like these.

Fact: zombie invasions suck. Just ask anyone who’s been through one, and he’ll tell you: “bluurble gurrble braiiins.” Does that sound like the guttural moaning of someone who had a good time? No, it sure as shit does not.

You may be familiar with Andy Riley's superb book The Bunny Suicides. We liked it so much, we thought we'd create an homage to it, using everyone's favourite flower-headed people.

These Pikmin burned too bright for this world. Rest in pieces

We hate rubbish endings. There's nothing more unsatisfying than becoming emotionally attached to a game for 10 or so hours and then have it end on a whimper. It's like having a really tasty meal and then finding a rusty nail in your last forkful. A nail that ends in an unsatisfying cliff-hanger, cheesy line or unresolved plot thread. And sod everyone who says it's about the journey, not the destination. The following games all take you on a

We need to be told what to do in a game from time to time. We rely on helpful characters to issue us with objectives and point us in the right direction. Imagine the wasted hours if they weren't there to help. Trouble is, some of them go about it all wrong and - although they're trying to help - just get right on our tits. Honestly, Navi's a joy compared with these nagging characters that need to STFU.