Crackdown

First impressions can be deceptive. Most people know that Braid and Shadow of the Colossus’ stars are secretly batting for team evil. But often average Jack Freedom with his square jaw, haircut you can set your watch by and heroic one liners is also hiding a dark past of indiscretion.

Political sabotage, wanton destruction of property, bowling up cruise liners full of holiday goers; that's what the heroes inside all cast aside as acceptable collateral damage. So the next time you go to tell someone what a stand up bloke Nathan Drake is, stop and spare a thought for his victims.

Would you like to win an Xbox 360? Of course you do. What a moronic question. Even if you already have one, you could use your second free 360 as an impromptu foot rest or use it to beat people you don't like with. And all you have to do is read this month's Official Xbox Magazine (that'd be the UK one) and enter their ace Crackdown 2 orb-hunting competition.

For full details, leap inside.

Apparently, we just plumb forgot Crackdown had a story to rival the narrative length and emotional complexity of War and Peace. Because its sequel has just started bombarding the nets with a series of cartoon web comics detailing the first game's back story, while also letting players know what's happened to the once picturesque Pacific City since. Whether you could give a rotten zombie's left earlobe about the Crackdown 2's plot, though, the video inside is undeniably purdy.

Shit breaks. That’s just the way it is. After prolonged use you must expect an item, no matter how expensive, to wear down and ultimately fail. And while we’re fine with Father Time claiming the souls of our dead electronics, it’s nowhere near acceptable when something brand new starts crapping out, locking up or engaging in what we like to call “shitting the bed.”

As part of the gloriously negative Week of Hate, we thought it time to remember some of the biggest, most hated instances of our expensive hobby and lifestyle going tits up.

 A videogame moment can be so fleeting. Television has DVR and movies have the rewind button, but when something truly amazing and unexpected happens in a videogame, the only proof you're usually left with is a "wait, did that really just happen" memory. You can't experience it again, you can't prove it to your friends and you can't upload it to the internet for the rest of us to marvel.

That's why Halo 3's Saved Films tool was

Normally, we’ve got no problem with video game villians. Sure, they nick our bustiest wenches, salute digital democracy with a middle finger, and are inconsiderate enough to make us waste valuable bullets shooting them during a recession. Thing is, they’re always upfront about being assholes, which makes the shit they pull almost endearingly evil. What really gets on our teets, though, are those deceitful dastards who pretend to

We absolutely know that you've been waiting with eager anticipation for a feature to come along that catalogues examples of new games that share an identical name with an old game. It doesn't happen very often, so it's genuinely exciting when it does. Anyway, we've written that feature, and this is it. Direct all messages of thanks and amazement to the comments thread. K? Cheers.

Afrika | PS3 | 2009

The new Afrika: Is

When the hero's mistakes end the world instead of saving it.

We hate rubbish endings. There's nothing more unsatisfying than becoming emotionally attached to a game for 10 or so hours and then have it end on a whimper. It's like having a really tasty meal and then finding a rusty nail in your last forkful. A nail that ends in an unsatisfying cliff-hanger, cheesy line or unresolved plot thread. And sod everyone who says it's about the journey, not the destination. The following games all take you on a

Right, Darth Vader is Luke’s father, Bruce Willis is dead in the Sixth Sense, Brad Pitt and Edward Norton are the same person in Fight Club. There, we’ve just ruined three movies for you. We’re fairly sure you won’t care about us ruining these plot twists by the end of this article, though, as we’re about to spill the beans on 80 (some potentially game-ruining) spoilers.