Bionic Commando (Next-Gen)

In mid 2008, Capcom unveiled its life-size, wearable bionic arm to the world, and from the moment I saw it I felt an irresistible urge to parade around town in the ridiculous thing. After months (literally months) of asking, Capcom had the good graces to lend me its extremely expensive, one-of-a-kind prop with no oversight or guidance. Just do whatever you want, man! The result is the above video, first posted on December 18, 2008, and it’s been one of my favorite things that’s ever posted on the site. The "bit" is me walking around trying to do normal things with a bionic arm, all of which prove how impractical the damn thing actually is, which leads to me apparently nuking the city.

We like to end things on a positive note. That’s why 2009 was capped with not only our annual Platinum Chalice Awards, but also a whole week’s worth of celebratory articles talking about the accomplishments of the past decade. Now though, with ’09 safely out of range for a retaliatory strike, we can piss all over the idiotic, baffling and just plain dumb occurrences that peppered our otherwise fine year.

Left 4 Dead 2, Modern Warfare 2, Assassin’s Creed 2, and Uncharted 2 made 2009 a year of epic sequels. Too bad none of the studios in this feature will be releasing any sequels, ever… at least not in their original forms. 2009, like 2008, was a rough economic year, and lead to the demise of multiple influential and promising developers.

They actually got paid for that crap, you know

Top 7… sexy text adventures – Chestnut hair, tousled by the wind, frames the tanned oval of his face.

In a medium full of perfect teeth, washboard stomachs and breasts that have their own gravitational pull, it’s rare to see characters with disabilities. But they do exist… and they’ve done some badass things. Be it killing gods, eating hardened soldiers or even creating the Nintendo universe; being physically challenged never got in the way of this bunch’s fun.

Disabled and deadly in: Metal Gear Solid 3:

There is no better way to end GamesRadar’s Shark Week than by preying upon sharkdom’s oldest and greatest catchphrase, “Jumping the Shark.” Popularized by the literal jumping of a shark in a 1977 episode of Happy Days, the colloquialism is now used to describe something veering into absurdity or lesser quality.

Quote of the week: “You’ve obviously never had a hot grandfather.”

Quote of the week: “I can’t wait to hear on 60 Minutes about an ecstasy bust at the technodrome.”

During the extremely scaled-down E3 2008, Capcom paraded around an amazing mechanical arm from the upcoming Bionic Commando game, currently due in February. We begged, we pleaded, and finally the kind folks at Capcom dared to let us borrow this surprisingly functional, eyeball-arresting prop. First thing we did? Take out into San Francisco for a little test walk.