Say you’re a betting man and you watched a balding, 6-foot tall, 250-pound guy mosey into a Best Buy. Under one arm is a bouncing 1-2 year old baby. Under the other? Two Xboxes that he’s not planning on paying for. What are the odds of him getting out the door?
Above: Better call Tango & Cash
Evidently, they’re pretty high. Over the weekend, the Dayton Daily Newsreported the theft in a nearby suburb of Dayton, Ohio. One witness said that he even had a large diaper bag slung around his back and that “he had his hands full.”
Not too full to get out the door, though. Our Xbox-pilfering master criminal made it outside and into his maroon Kia Spectra and fled the scene - without securing his little accomplice safely into his car seat.
No father of the year award, then. Still, we say any 6-foot, 250-lbs guy that can actually fit both his large frame and the 100-pound brass testicles he must clearly have into a Kia Spectra deserves to keep anything else he can possibly cram in there. Especially if it’s a new slim 360. If he ended up with an old Elite… well, who’s the joke on now?
Jul 20, 2010