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The worst box art of 2011

30. Farm 2

Released: Oct. 7

Hey, guess what? These animals just got done talking to the ones on Family Farm, and they can't wait to see what you'll do next!

They can't wait to see what... horrible... thing you'll do next. What awful, blood-curdling crime against God you will commit. They know the darkness that lurks in your heart, and yet they sit, wide-eyed, in eager anticipation.

You'd better not disappoint them.

31. Go Vacation

Released: Oct. 11

How do you criticize the incomprehensible? How to tear apart an image that pulls the eye in all directions at once? Not only is this busy, but it packs in a lot of different concepts, and we're not just talking about all the activities on display. There's also the red lines to consider, which seem to suggest an Indiana Jones-style travel route, as well as the big, blurry continent and which of the many, many characters we're supposed to focus on. We guess that means there's a lot to do in here, but it all adds up to an image that's crammed full of more useless shit than the inside of a lint trap

32. Redrum

Released: March 18

When we first saw this, we just sort of assumed it was an imitation of Alice: Madness Returns, but the more we look at it, the more uneasy we become. The girl's fairy wings and vapid, soft-focus expression are at sharp odds with the title, and the magnification of the... (reader? Tea-drinker? Ghost? Ghost drinking tea while reading a book in a deliberate waste of the viewer's time?) on her shoulder doesn't help us make better sense of it.

Also, this is starting to hurt your eyes. Trust us, it is. Let's move on.

33. Woodcutter Simulator 2011

Released: Oct. 28

The normal M.O. for these “[Noun] Simulator” games seems to be to just slap a stock photo (or, worse, a crude render) of whatever they’re simulating on the cover and call it a day. A boring, depressing day. For Woodcutter Simulator 2011, however, they decided to do something fresh and bold. They wouldn’t just use a boring photo of a tree harvester – they’d paste a boring photo of a schlubby dude on top of it! GENIUS.

34. Phil Taylor's Power Play Darts

Released: Dec. 2

If you learn anything from this box, it's that Phil Taylor is the single most badass human being on the planet. Look at that face. Even he is terrified by his pure, raging machismo. When Phil Taylor walks down the sidewalk, his feet crack the cement. Phil Taylor does not so much "play darts" as he projects bolts of pure will through the medium of his fists, crushing the dartboard with the force of a black hole and eliciting gasps from the delighted pub crowd around him. Then Phil Taylor walks through a seedy neighborhood and beats the shit out of hundreds of identical thugs while eating entire roast chickens out of oil drums, which Phil Taylor breaks open with his bare hands.

Phil Taylor won the Kumite. Phil Taylor is violence incarnate, and also probably your real dad. Phil Taylor was made using the genetic material of history's greatest dictators. Phil Taylor holds the world high score in Donkey Kong. Phil Taylor will conquer all and usher in a reign of blood and fire. Phil Taylor is the only human being ever to kidney-punch God. Phil Taylor is going Super Saiyan right now. Phil Taylor's name will be the last thing you ever hear, chanted in unison by armies of savage men as they grind the bones of all you knew into powder beneath their iron boots. Phil Taylor. Phil Taylor. PHIL TAYLOR.

Or, you know, maybe this box just built up our expectations too high.

35. Paws & Claws Marine Rescue

Released: Jan. 25

Look at these animals. These animals ain't got shit on Phil Taylor.

BONUS OUTDATED ENTRY!

Dancing Craze Bonus Edition

Released: Nov. 18, 2010

This one actually came out last year, but somehow, we missed it among the piles of other awful boxes we made fun of. Probably because it's fairly aesthetically sound, with (somewhat) appealing character art and… hang on, what’s that?

Wait, wait, there it is…

WhaTHAT GUY’S GETTING A HANDJOB!

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90 comments

  • Hydrohs - December 31, 2011 7:05 p.m.

    I look forward to this every year, and it never disappoints.
  • winner2 - December 31, 2011 2:48 p.m.

    "Phil Taylor is the only human being ever to kidney-punch God." L-o-f*cking-l
  • mothbanquet - December 30, 2011 6:25 a.m.

    Ah, my favourite time of the year. Now to go back through as many of the previous years' entries as my lunch hour will allow...
  • IPostedThis4U - December 29, 2011 1:39 p.m.

    Battlefield 3 I love BF3, and it's one of the only games I play, but seriously? They've been developing the game for 2 years, and all they did was take BFBC2's art and rearrange the vehicles in the background and offset the character to centre him. And not to mention Battlefield 3: Limited Edition. "let's just zoom in on the centrepiece's face and write 'Limited Edition' in big letters on the side." ugh.
  • bailzee - December 27, 2011 3:42 p.m.

    Phil Taylor owns a pub near where I live apparently, never seen him in the flesh though, probably off doing tough stuff somewhere
  • Japanaman - December 27, 2011 9:24 a.m.

    8 is the worst boxart I have ever seen in my entire life!
  • tofu666 - December 27, 2011 5:54 a.m.

    Are you a bad enough dude to challenge Phil Taylor? No, you're not.
  • Balaska - December 27, 2011 3:21 a.m.

    Am I the only one that sees that the soldier on (various) Battlefield boxes is on fire? That's why he is orange lit.
  • MisuCake - December 26, 2011 10:58 p.m.

    Couldn't stop laughing at the last one.
  • FinderKeeper - December 26, 2011 7:51 p.m.

    *note to self: avoid looking at Nintendo third-party titles.*
  • quincytheodore - December 25, 2011 11:45 p.m.

    Great article. I've just enlightened that Phil Taylor might be Chuck Norris' brother.
  • santaclouse37 - December 25, 2011 11:19 p.m.

    This is easily tied with the Anti-Awards for my favorite annual article. Once again, it did not dissapoint. (Though I was somewhat expecting to see the AC: Revelation's art get ripped a new one.)
  • mattersnotnow - December 25, 2011 7:36 p.m.

    15 minutes later and I'm still laughing at "The Behind Reflection" Oh god, how I wish there was enough bad box art that you guys could do this monthly
  • beemoh - December 25, 2011 5:56 p.m.

    Pretty sure the "giggly friend" on Fix It: Home Improvement Challenge is Cherie Blair. I mean, look at the unnaturally four-cornered mouth!
  • augdog - December 25, 2011 5:06 p.m.

    Look forwards to this every year.
  • ninjaemperor - December 25, 2011 9:57 a.m.

    This is always one of my favorite articles of the year, hilarious!
  • Squander - December 25, 2011 7:41 a.m.

    wow, also look at "Super Sonic Racer" - the blueish font of "Super Sonic" looks exactly what we might find on a real Sonic-cover...
  • juicenpancakes - December 24, 2011 11 p.m.

    My bad, I didn't mean for it to be taken in a dickish tone, I was being sarcastic. My apologies. Merry xxxmas to all of the wondrous GR humans.
  • Jellyjiggler2 - December 24, 2011 12:15 p.m.

    Mikel, I was getting a little worried I wouldn't be seeing my favorite annual Gamesradar article this year. Thankfully you (and the boxes) did not disappoint. That being said, WHERE ARE THE ANTI-AWARDS???

Showing 1-20 of 90 comments

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