It’s all about celebrities. Poker on TV gives you Sir Clive Sinclair sitting looking concerned in a hat. But World Series of Poker: Tournament of Champions has the ultimate celebrity: Jesus.
That’s Chris “Jesus” Ferguson: champion poker player and a man with the ability to cut a watermelon in half with a flying playing card. He happily trots out useless advice throughout the game. And that’s all the excitement in this game pretty much done with.
This is no frills “career” poker: start out in a shabby poker room (which you can decorate), and progress through circuit events en route to a championship bracelet. It’s thrill-free: winning hands against brain-dead AI players is no victory. Games move slower than it takes for “Jesus” to grow his trademark beard another millimeter, and there are breaks to load animation.
Which means all World Series of Poker has left to impress is a suite of poker tools to calculate pot odds and the like. Statistics… no thanks.