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The Royal Wedding is just two posh people you don't know getting married and has nothing at all to do with video games. Incredibly, that statement is only 50% correct. Of course it's implausible that any real people reading this could ever legally be acquainted with Prince William and Kate Middleton. That is an absurd notion. But their Royal Wedding does have many genuinely tenuous associations with video games.
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Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Wait, wrong story. Ho ho ho and a bottle of nog! It's a GamesRadar Christmas Carol!
TalkRadar and The GamesRadar Theatre Troupe invite you to put 'e's where they ought not to be and wrap yourself up in a warm Snuggie of Christmas cheer by way of the ghostly story of Ebenezer Scrooge. So put on your headphones, young listener, and sit back in your recliner by a crackling fire while we fill your chambers with the presence of three allegory-prone apparitions, the shriveled heart of a hardcore gamer, and his greatest fear of all - motion controls...
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With each new console comes a promise of gorgeous new worlds, brilliant new level design and, best of all, genres and concepts we never could have predicted. The first time you sit down with your new machine is a treasured day of pure discovery, for in that brief moment everything is fresh again. Provided, that is, you chose the correct game from the launch lineup.
Not all launch games are equal. Oftentimes the games that help kick off a console are gussied-up versions of the same stuff we’ve been playing, or cash-grabbing releases meant to capitalize on the launch day fervor. But somewhere in the pile is the gem, the one game that encapsulates everything that’s great about your expensive new piece of hardware. And here we’ve narrowed down the best of the best...
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It's official: we can now pay pretty girls to play games with us. As appealing as hitting Halo 3 on Legendary with a buxom blonde sounds, we'd rather spend our cash elsewhere. Like say, hiring Joe Pesci to take part in the most murderously competitive game of Mario Kart ever. Think that sounds awesome? Wait to you see the other famous folk we'd gladly pay to get our game on with.
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If there’s one thing us gamers like more than freezing our knackers off during midnight launches, it’s complaining. Everything sucks anyway, so we might as well hate on that clipping on level nine or how Nintendo ‘don’t get us’ anymore. So in honour of how rubbish games and everything about them clearly are, we present the top trends we all really, really, really love to bitch about.
Warning: The following
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Our amigos in the animal kingdom do the darndest things, don’t they? Rolling around in shit. Playing poker in iconic paintings. Whopping you at Wii tennis. What, you didn’t know that your pets could totally annihilate your ass at games? If you need further proof just cast your peepers down below to see a variety of chimps, cats and dogs totally owning everything from Pac man to Metal Gear Solid. Hell, your gerbil’s probably
Earlier this year we posted a video of our extremely handsome mugs chattering on about the most important games of the past decade. Did you miss it? Were you so distracted by our handsome facial hair that our words washed across you impotently like waves over rocks? Good news everyone!
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The Wii is the home of clueless casual gamers, housewives and grannies: fact. Ok, so that’s not entirely true, but there’s no doubt the aforementioned groups have helped propel the little white box into the sales stratosphere. But while they’re undoubtedly the backbone of Nintendo’s current business model, there’s only so long they can last on Wii Sports and Wii Fit. That’s why we’ve taken some of
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We hate to sound like cranky ass gamers incapable of embracing “The New,” but we’re just about ready to tell motion controls to f**k off. That initial ocean of vast futuristic potential, promising to turn our entire bodies into dignified instruments of control, has officially run completely dry.
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Mario is a cultural phenomenon. Final Fantasy is epic. Resident Evil, Fallout, Diablo... all of these classic franchises will eventually be tossed away, but they won't be stamped with expiration dates anytime in the foreseeable future.
Other franchises started growing mold before they even left the grocery store shelves.
The somehow-less-inspired franchises may sell millions, contain lovable
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