All Wii Reviews

Namco Museum Remix (Review)

Oct 22, 2007

What the hell happened? You'd figure at this point Namco could hurl handfuls of its classic games like BBs at flypaper and ship them in whatever combinations they please to some degree of success. As long as they're cheap, what man-child reared in the 80's wouldn't jump at the chance to play Rally-X and Pac-Man at a reasonable price. Unfortunately, Namco Museum Remix has squandered more than twenty years of nostalgia, while simultaneously spawning some of the worst motion control based ...

Naruto: Clash of Ninja EX [import] (Review)

Apr 30, 2007

Beyond the quick buck that's to be made from its obsessive fans, there's really no reason for Naruto to exist on Wii at all. Its "new" control scheme is better served by the old-fashioned Classic controller than by remote and nunchuk, which achieve little beyond making you look like an idiot while ...

Naruto: Clash of Ninja Revolution (Review)

Oct 23, 2007

Oct 23, 2007 Remember last year when the GameCube was dying and the only games coming around were Cars, Teen Titans and Nicktoons slop? There were two shiny gems in that sea of lumpy coal, and they both happened to be Clash of Ninja games released just six months apart. Their button-mashy (yet surprisingly deep) fighting styles made both games popular even among non-Naruto fans. Now we're looking at the third to hit US shores in just over a year and it's basically the same as the other ...

NBA Live 08 (Review)

Oct 4, 2007

Oct 4, 2007 Plain and simple, the initial prospect of playing a hoops sim on the Wii scared the daylights out of us. Having flailed and swayed at more than our share of Wii Sports, we naturally assumed that a basketball version of the same thing meant a long winter rehabbing our torn ACL or shredded labrum. However, it turns out that EA didn't build their first b-ball title for Nintendo's new-generation console with anything of the sort in mind. Sure, you'll flick a wrist here and there to ...

Necro-Nesia [import] (Review)

Feb 12, 2007

Like a viscera-loving fly, developer Spike has wormed its way into the rotting body cavities of countless survival horrors, laid its eggs and given birth to Necro-Nesia. Its a real scavenger of a game, gnawing on the meat of the finest pedigree - namely Resident Evil 2 and Silent Hill 3. But like the common fly, its unable to digest it all without puking up on it first and churning it into a grotesque gaming mess. Playing as a floppy-haired girly-faced guy - whose soft, boy-band looks look ...

Need for Speed Carbon (Review)

Nov 22, 2006

You can be forgiven for cynically thinking "Another year, another Need for Speed." Frankly, that's what we thought when the latest title in the series was announced. After all, the damn good Most Wanted just came out a year ago, so what could Carbon possibly offer so soon afterwards that would get our motors runnin'? It turns out that the answer comes in two parts. First off is the Wingman - not the buddy who'll sit with your hot date's ugly girlfriend at the bar - but a crazy fool who for ...

Need for Speed ProStreet (Review)

Nov 13, 2007

Nov 12, 2007 Ryan Cooper. Dont worry if youve already forgotten the name since youll be hearing it a few times in Need for Speed ProStreet. Its the moniker of your driver in Career mode. Hes not the most charismatic character. In fact, hes practically mute - and you only ever see him with his helmet on - but that doesnt stop the commentators banging on about him. “Its Ryan Cooper about to light this race up,” praises one MC. “If its too hot in the kitchen get out of Ryan ...

NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams (Review)

Dec 18, 2007

Dec 18, 2007 Consider this Sonic Team's official pinch: You're not dreaming. After over a decade of fevered anticipation, a new NiGHTS is finally here. Few they may be, fans of the original Sega Saturn game have always held the franchise in the highest regard, and to that proud brood we can happily say that everything you loved about Into Dreams is here to behold on the Wii's NiGHTs: Journey of Dreams. Majestically soaring through hallucinatory landscapes with the power of (slightly) ...

Ninja Reflex (Review)

Mar 12, 2008

Ninja Reflex is basically the ninja equivalent of Wii Sports: six minigames in which you and your friends energetically wave and point Wii remotes in order to swing swords, hurl throwing stars, and do whatever else it is that ninjas do. The katana challenge transforms the Wii remote into a sword. You yank the controller sideways or lift it above your head to parry attacks, and then you give it a quick shake to finish off the warrior ...

Ninjabread Man (Review)

Nov 8, 2007

Nov 8, 2007 Great name! If only somebody with a bigger budget had thought of it first. While we love the concept of a ginger ninja terrorizing the cake shop, the only thing this game has really got going for it is the lead character. It's a bog-standard 3D platformer with incredibly horrid controls. Simply getting the sugary hero to land on a platform is no mean feat, as he'll often slide right off the other side or fail to jump high enough because he hit a sticky wall. It's an opportunity ...

Nitrobike (Review)

Jan 18, 2008

Nitrobike is the sort of outrageous racing game that you desperately want to like. In every race, you're mashing the turbo button, performing death-defying tricks, and literally destroying the track as you try to beat the other riders to the finish line. Unfortunately, you're also fighting the Wii remote every step of the way just to stay pointed in the right direction, which quickly transforms what ought to be a lovey-dovey relationship into a trip to ...

No More Heroes (Review)

Jan 22, 2008

Violence, sex, things to see, things to collect, spectacular graphics and even better sound, a sense of humour, a sense of purpose, an insane logic running through every fiber - and enough swearing to get your TV banned by the authorities. Killer7 creator Suda51 is back, all right. Our hero, Travis Touchdown, is a motel-dwelling, action figure-collecting, anime-obsessing gamer who wins a lightsaber in an online auction and sets off on a mission to become the worlds number one hitman so he can ...