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You don’t know what vulnerable is until, in a roomful of people, you have stood perched bow-leggedly atop a Wii balance board, shaking the Nunchuk like a maraca while whipping a pretend horse’s backside on a television screen. It would be slightly less embarrassing to play a DS game powered by nakedness. On the train.
Living up to the impossibly rosy memories of fans of the contender for the N64’s best game is, well, probably impossible. Take note that this GoldenEye 007 is not an “HD” version of the original with Wii controls slapped on. It’s a retelling of the GoldenEye story, using the movie’s screenwriter to give it a proper 2010 contemporary vibe (Bond now has a smartphone) and tossing out the now embarrassingly crusty Pierce Brosnan in favor of perpetually pouty-mouthed and bat-eared Daniel Craig. Sorry, Daniel, we really do think you’re a supremely suave Bond...
There are lots of things that Gradius ReBirth is harder than. Nails. Hulk Hogan. Licking your own elbow. And this leads to one of the game’s unfortunate downfalls – such difficulty has very limited appeal. Only fans of ridiculously hard 16-bit shooters will be in their element with this Gradius ‘remix,’ drawing elements from the first two games and the GameBoy iteration.
You can tell the difference immediately. You open up the invisible face of your ‘racquet’ to drive an imaginary forehand down the line, and that’s exactly where the on-screen ball goes. Put a bit more angle on the swing, aiming for the opposite corner, and the ball goes that way, too. Impressive!
When we say that this is just like the DS version, we mean exactly like the DS version. Only it’s worse, so not exactly like it. It’s got the same 100 puzzles and the same minigames (there’s an extra one here, but it’s not much cop). If you bought the DS game, you’ve no reason to get this if you’re looking for fresh conundrums.
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