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A pirate’s life for us? Not if it involves this much brainless scavenging. Continuing on from Ganbarion’s so-so Unlimited Adventure, Cruise bears little proof of two years’ development. Button mashing. Hiking around confusing maps. Scooping up an inordinate number of coconuts. Have we slipped through a wormhole back to 2007?
A pirate’s life for me? Not if it involves this much brainless scavenging. Cruise 2 is hardly a standalone adventure, but the second half of a bigger game simply hacked off in the name of money-making. Cruise 1 abruptly ended and Cruise 2 abruptly begins, dropping you in to flee a boss you technically fought two months ago.
You won't find many M-rated games on Nintendo's squeaky clean console, but of the few, you will find that Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers is a doozie. This raunchy blood-spewing romp is set immediately after the events of the simultaneously released Xbox 360 title (Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad). Here we follow not only sisters Aya and Saki as they attempt to unravel the secret of the Baneful Blood, but also the travels of two more unlockable characters, Misery and Reiko, former enemies from the Xbox game.
Hudson Soft has been one of the most prolific WiiWare developers to date, with titles ranging from the likes of Tetris Party to, uh, My Aquarium, but its latest entry tackles uncharted ground for the downloadable games service – the first-person shooter. The game in question is Onslaught, and while its generic alien bug-zapping plot and ho-hum presentation fail to make an impression, enjoyably mindless action and online gameplay lend this sci-fi shooter some short-term relevancy.
For some reason, people love to do things in video games that they would find incredibly tedious and mundane in real life. Washing the dog. Shopping on a limited budget. Going to court. Math. And especially cooking. We can barely be bothered to microwave ramen noodles in the real world, but slap an anime girl into the mix to yell at us when something goes wrong, and we’ll happily chop, grill, stir, and clean up the leftovers
On the internationally recognized scale o’ evil Overlord Dark Legend is more Walt Disney than Pol Pot. The central premise might suggest it’s a game for megalomaniacs in waiting but the contrived plot actually has you thwarting baddies rather than stealing children’s lollipops. That said, there’s still much to recommend this Wii exclusive prequel.
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