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Mar 12, 2008

Ninja Reflex

Wii Review

Ninja Reflex is basically the ninja equivalent of Wii Sports: six minigames in which you and your friends energetically wave and point Wii remotes in order to swing swords, hurl throwing stars, and do whatever else it is that ninjas do. The katana challenge transforms the Wii remote into a sword. You yank the controller sideways or lift it above your head to parry attacks, and then you give it a quick shake to finish off the warrior ...
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Mar 7, 2008

Pimp My Ride

Wii Review

The urban minigame collection Pimp My Ride vied for "worst game of the year" in 2006, so what has publisher Activision done? They've ported it to the Wii without making any improvements or adding new content. ...

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Mar 7, 2008

Jumper: Griffin's Story

Wii Review

Wii - Jumper: Griffin's Story - Jumper: Griffin's Story

After burning through the brief and deplorable Xbox 360 version of Jumper: Griffin's Story, we wondered if the cel-shaded Wii iteration could be any worse (or any longer, for that matter). The answer to both queries is "no" - the full campaign still weighs in at about two hours in length, but the rest of the beat-'em-up experience doesn't fall quite as flat on its face for one obvious reason: it doesn't try as hard. In place of the ...
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Mar 6, 2008

Sega Bass Fishing [2008]

Wii Review

Wii - Sega Bass Fishing [2008] - Sega Bass Fishing

If any game can convert a non-fisherman into someone who actually uses words like Jointed Shad Rap, Hula Popper and Buzzbait, it's the action-packed arcadery of the Sega Bass Fishing series. It doesn't make you hunt down the fish, and when you find them, they're ravenous. What does that leave? Action, mostly.While most fishing games make you spend huge amounts of time seeking out the fish, Sega Bass Fishing spreads them three layers thick just ...
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Mar 6, 2008

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Wii Review

Wii - Super Smash Bros. Brawl - Super Smash Bros. Brawl

There's practically no reason to offer a review of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. It's going to sell millions upon millions of copies regardless of what anyone says. We all know it's phenomenally fun and destined to become Wii's biggest game of all time, so what else should a review even bother to say? Spend 500 words arguing about wave dashing or meteor smashes? Nah, we'll just say "buy this immediately" and let you get back to smashing. ...
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Mar 5, 2008

Rig Racer 2

Wii Review

We were mildly interested at the title Rig Racer 2, expecting some sort of hauling ass and taking names (names like Big Daddy and Snake, of course), flooring it over the-sidewalk-and-through-the-buildings madness. After all, if movies have taught us anything, it's that a big rig is basically indestructible as long as you blast the horn when plowing into something. But what we got was a track barely wide enough for two trucks side by side - and ...
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Mar 4, 2008

Ultimate Duck Hunting

Wii Review

Wii - Ultimate Duck Hunting - Ultimate Duck Hunting

Blasting waterfowl out of the sky has long been an accepted practice on Nintendo consoles. Everyone remembers trolling for birds in Duck Hunt on the NES, and despite its complete lack of any connection to that long-ago favorite, you can’t help but remember it when sliding Ultimate Duck Hunting into your Wii. Unfortunately, this modern-day simulation won’t make you forget your first virtual marshland exploits any time soon. ...
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Mar 4, 2008

Showtime Championship Boxing

Wii Review

Wii - Showtime Championship Boxing - Showtime Championship Boxing

Great boxing games are few and far between. For every Punch Out!! and Fight Night: Round 3, there are half a dozen pugilistic clunkers that litter bargain bins in game stores near and far. As amazing as it may seem, though, we may have discovered the least entertaining one of all. Showtime Championship Boxing would be a lousy looker two console generations ago; in 2008 it’s nothing short of a Mike Tyson-biting-ears-level ...
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Mar 4, 2008

London Taxi Rush Hour

Wii Review

Wii - London Taxi Rush Hour - London Taxi Rush Hour

We really wanted to like this game. We liked Crazy Taxi and we were hoping for great things from this obvious knock-off. But it's crap. It’s like Crazy Taxi’s-not-quite-ready-to-hang-with-the-grown-ups little brother, complete with bad hair and pimples. We apologize to little brothers with bad hair and pimples, but while mousse and Clearasil will solve their problems, this game will always be bad. It starts with the “why the ...
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Mar 4, 2008

Kawasaki Quad Bikes

Wii Review

Wii - Kawasaki Quad Bikes - Kawasaki Quad Bikes

Kawasaki Quad Bikes is an example of branding at its most obvious coupled with poor attention to the basics. Starting off, there are only a few vehicles to choose from and no discernable differences other than color and bulk. It turns out they perform differently on certain terrains, but you only learn that through plenty of trial and error. The tracks include the usual off-road racing variants: dirty, muddy, rocky, sandy, gravely, snowy and ...
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