Poor Squeeballs. All these animated soft toys want is to be loved and given a good home. But they’re in for a world of pain before they can be placed on the shelf at the local toy store. It’s your job to make sure they’re fit for children by playing a set of minigames that ensures their wicked thoughts are whacked out of them. Don’t let their cute, wide-eyed exteriors fool you. ...

Star Wars has long been dead to us. However, we’re big enough to admit that the ‘franchise’ (what else can you call it?), especially the Clone Wars spin-offs, is aimed at a younger age group and not crusty, cynical 30-somethings like us. But this doesn’t excuse the churning-out of games of such mind-numbing dullness that they’ll cause instantaneous cerebral meltdown in anyone above 8. ...

All hail the hundredth WiiWare title. And thank the gods it wasn’t Sexy Poker. Winter of the Melodias is one of few games that deserve to trigger the illustrious milestone. (Frontier also marked the start of the WiiWare hundred with the dazzling original LostWinds). Bigger, better and bolder? ...

As another new year looms, we approach the time when Balance Boards will be dragged from under sofas and doomed resolutions will be made by fatties across the land. Is anyone going to lose that post-holiday belly by standing on a set of bluetooth-equipped scales and wobbling in front of a Wii? Maybe not, given how thoroughly dull and sterile Wii Fit can be. A few sessions later, the interest wanes. At least that’s our experience of it ...

Feeding colorful jellybeans to an amorphous alien pet to make it transform into a multitude of cool items was loads of fun way back in 1989, and WayForward’s resurrection and re-imagination of the NES sleeper hit A Boy and His Blob perfectly captures the clever gameplay that made the original so absorbing. 20 years later, the remake is one of the most endearing games you’ll find on the Wii. ...

Ever heard of Marvel Super Hero Squad? Us neither. Apparently it’s a popular toyline that feeds Marvel’s beloved heroes through a shrinking machine. Suitably, MSHS seems to be Marvel Ultimate Alliance fed through the shrinking machine. Goons are punched and boxes smashed, only this time everything’s two feet shorter. ...

After two mind-frazzling Wii beat-’em-ups (roughly 800 remote inputs to throw a single punch), things cool down in Dragon Ball’s latest. It makes sense: it covers the earlier pre-Z adventures. Simpler times deserve simpler play – so it’s out with finger gymnastics, in with mindless button-thumping as Goku churns his way through a tame scrolling brawler. ...

We liked the direction SmackDown was going on the Wii. But clearly we were a voice in the wilderness, because THQ has decided to tap out on the whole ‘arcadey’ alternative thing they had going on and have instead opted to make a more traditional SmackDown in line with that seen on the other formats. ...

EA have tossed realism out of the window for this year’s FIFA. And why not? Football’s started to get on our nerves lately, so it’s great to see all semblance of ‘accurate simulation’ given the boot in favour of a lightning-paced, thrill-a-second arcade goal-fest. ...

JU-ON manages to capture the film’s atmosphere admirably well, and as a result it’s nearly as frightening as the film. It’s broken into episodes, each telling a self-contained, mostly plotless tale about a hapless sap who’s being terrorised by ghosts. ...