Paint is reborn. Paint is now fun. It’s all thanks to de Blob, who’s basically a fat sponge. Fun-haters called the INKT Corporation have sucked all life from the world, presumably because they think it makes them big in front of the girls or something. ...

In our opinion the most annoying, least fun to fight enemies in any game cheap enough to have them are the pint-size scurrying creatures that run along the ground below your gunsights and leap up at your face. Rubbish, aren’t they? Actually, maybe it’s a tie between those and the little flying enemies that are incredibly hard to target and do a disproportionate amount of damage. Take your pick. ...

There’s no two ways about it: Wii usually gets the shaft when it comes to top shelf third party support. What system generally has the weakest version of a multiplatform title? Wii. What system gets a weird spin-off like Soulcalibur Legends, Castlevania Judgment or Dragon Quest Swords instead of a genuine sequel? That’d be Wii as well. ...

Wii owners: your system has not yet devolved into a platform only for the casual, the family-friendly, and the undiscerning eye. Deadly Creatures proves that Wii-exclusive titles can still be brutal, imaginative, and way more than mindless waggle. We have crawled amongst the exoskeletal warzones underneath human feet, and it was good. ...

What proud son doesn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps? We can think of a few ol’ blocks you don’t want to be a chip off - Saddam Hussein, Noel Edmonds, the Grim Reaper. Alas, then, for poor Death Jr., son of the soul collector. And alas for Root of Evil, a port of a PSP title, it’s a massive chip off the old block - with blocky being the key word. Where in the developers’ handbook does it state ...

The first reaction to XGen’s fortress-protection simulator ranged from a minor "pfft" from our art people to full-blown mock vomiting from one editor. An update of their own flash game, the argument goes that XGen haven’t really updated at all. Our scoffing editor even played the original in the background to make his point.

But they’re wrong. A) the crude stick men of the original are now, erm, crude crayon drawings ...