Punch-Out!!

Earlier this month Nintendo announced four new games for its budget-priced Selects line. Not long after, it sent copies of each newly packaged game to our doorstep – and today we wanna pass ‘em on to you!

Ask just about anyone what the best kind of punch is, and they’ll probably say “uppercut.” This is partly because “uppercut” is the only punch that anyone outside of boxing fandom can actually identify by name, but mostly because seeing one pulled off well can be breathtaking. A rising blow from the hip to the target’s chin, a good uppercut can floor an opponent, break a jaw and potentially even kill. It can also look awesome.

Unsurprisingly, nowhere are uppercuts more awesome than in videogames, which since the ‘80s have shaped our perception of them to the point where they’re no longer just power punches employed by extremely tough men. They’re finishing moves, ultra-powerful attacks and metaphorical middle fingers to the enemies we’re about to knock unconscious. At their best, they also feel great to pull off, as proved by the following examples...

No matter what fanboy flag you fly, Xbox, Sony, Amiga, only those completely lost to biased dementia would contest that Nintendo is the strongest first party developer in gaming history. Since Donkey Kong in 1982, Nintendo’s homebrewed games have been some of the greatest of all time. It was true on the NES when those game were part of a rich collection of amazing titles as well as during the desperate Gamecube days, when all owners could do was count the months till the next brilliant Nintendo game so they could blow the dust off their unused purple square.

And yet, when it seemingly doesn’t need help making their own great games, Nintendo has a long history of giving out their classic franchises with other developers. Sometimes these gambles resulted in remarkable titles, and in rare cases we ended up with some of the most hilariously terrible games of all time. Now that Nintendo’s collaboration with Team Ninja, Metroid: Other M, has just hit store shelves, come with us on a history lesson in sharing and caring...

The godfather of boxing games is our musical serenade o' the day. You know the one. Quit humming it and listen NOW...

Well it’s St. Paddy’s day, and as usual that means everyone will be celebrating their ambiguous Irish "heritage" by getting bollocksed on beer and green food dye, saying “Erin Go Bragh” for no reason, and wearing plastic green bowler hats. To celebrate this light-hearted, semi-racist holiday we’ve assembled a list of gaming’s most offensively stereotypical Irishmen and identified which of the many

By now we've all seen and effectively "gotten over" Epic Beard Man and his cantankerous fightin' words, but before we collectively move on to something new, please to enjoy this expertly done Punch-Out!! homage. If you're familiar with the NES classic, you'll no doubt love all the little touches.

Probably should mention there's some cussin' and some blood in there, and it's altogether a serious account of an Oakland

Right about now the rest of the internet is tripping over itself to crank out the “definitive” end-of-year list. Well, they can stop. We already did it. Over the next few pages our unquestioned expertise will identify the coolest, most important games of 2009 with zero room for error. Yeah, it’s that big of a deal. That’s why they’re basking in the dazzling radiance of a Platinum Chalice.

We began this year full of hope for software success on the Wii, the little system that did. As it entered its third year on the market, fans dreamed of seeing the end of shovelware, as developers had now had plenty of time to make great games for the console. Maybe we’d see some great original content at last? No more PSP ports and half-finished releases, now that developers had come to understand the console so well?

THE INFO BOX
Post date: November 6, 2009
T-Dar 75 length: 2:38:00
Intro song by: Anamanaguchi
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We know we’re not alone in our ridiculous affection for the Punch-Out!! series, so it’s likely that many of you are seething with jealously over the tasty morsel Club Nintendo dropped on its Platinum Members this week.