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Back in the day we got our thrills by physically pretending to do things we couldn’t actually do. We drove go-karts to simulate NASCAR racing and bashed our LEGOs into each other while saying “PEW PEW PEW!” because we didn’t have any TIE fighters on hand. Then videogames came along and were all like, “You wanna blow up some TIE fighters?”
What is the best Super Nintendo game ever made? Which Xbox 360 title is already the definitive classic? What Atari, Dreamcast and PlayStation experiences are most worth remembering? Growing tired of the internet’s countless, wishy-washy attempts to answer such questions, we decided to make the tough decisions ourselves. You’ll find no Top 5s, Top 7s, Top 15s or Top 100s here - just a single winner and runner up for each platform.
When he started sharing his idea of an orchestra playing music from videogames, people thought the veteran composer Tommy Tallarico was off his rocker. It took him three years to convince publishers and developers that he was sane. “Imagine me making a call to Taito in Japan, asking them for the rights for the score of [1983 arcade hit] Elevator Action. “I’d like to play the theme tune to the game at the Hollywood Bowl with the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Hello... hello?’”
Number one. By it's very definition it should characterize top drawer excellence. But when it comes to the game charts we know that's not always the case. Here we present the very worst games - the absolute crud of the crop - that have made it to the heady heights of number one in the US and UK since 2005.
Hit number one: 10 February 2007Platform: DSGame Rankings average: 67%
Port of a decent 10 year-old N64 Mario
Retro consoles are fair game for modders to hack up and turn into other things, being dirt cheap and mostly obsolete. But take a look at number four down there. Someone has dismembered a Wii – the only console never to have had a price drop – and turned it into something you can get for a fiver on Ebay.
Promoted as the hardest thing since Chuck Norris’ forehead, the following collection of grizzled marines, legendary soldiers and black-hearted school children cut imposing figures. Break past the Duke Nukem tough veneer, though, and you’ll actually find most of these hard men are really as daunting as the Wii’s processing power.
If over-pronounced bouts of masculinity are a sign of insecurity, then these boys must all
Gamers are a fickle and impatient bunch. After spending our childhoods at the altar of a twitchy, flashy, interactive dream box, we tend to act a bit ADD. The best games, however, can cut through this clutter right from the start. They dazzle us with cinematic spectacle or immerse us with unexpected realism. They overwhelm our eyes and ears with technological power or capture our minds with extraordinary storytelling. Within those first few minutes of play, they demand our attention.
When you think of scorpions and tarantulas battling it out God of War style, do you think Coen Brothers? If you say yes, you must be popping the Crazy Pills. That, or you’re one of the developers for Deadly Creatures. Yet it’s this off-kilter thinking that lends the Wii-exclusive arthropod adventure a unique flavor.
At the end of every year we get a new year – one that is numerically superior to its predecessor and brimming with new stuff to buy. But how do you know what to buy if all the shiny “best of” awards are given at the end of the year? You could spend your precious 365.24 days reading game reviews, but what are they compared to shiny metallic awards?
So Eidos plans to make Lara Croft more "family-friendly". Turns out despite the huge brand name and near universal critical acclaim, Tomb Raider Underworld just didn't sell as well as they had predicted, so it's time to tap that lucrative family market.
But Eidos don't need to spend thousands on a marketing consultant - we've done all the hard work for them and drawn up new versions of Lara. Indeed, one for every member of the family.
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