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Mar 2, 2007

The Top 7... You love 'em, we hate 'em

Wii Feature | Wii

These games are classics. They're beloved by millions. The problem? Well, they suck. Don't believe us? Keep reading. Yeah, some had their defenders - even on our staff. But a convincing argument can be made about why each game just doesn't cut it. And that's just what we'll do. Ready? Line 'em up and we'll knock 'em down... Final Fantasy VIII Hated by: Nintendo Editor Brett Elston The entire catalogue of Final Fantasy games is untouchable. We get that. They're all special and unique in their ...
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Feb 27, 2007

More things to do with your Wii

Wii Feature | Wii

Youve played Twilight Princess, made a billion Miis, got Pro in every Wii Sports game, voted on the Everybody Votes channel, downloaded Streets of Rage and now what? “Twiddling your thumbs until another actual game,” say the Wii-doubters before they get frustrated with their PS3 and start watching Serenity on blu-ray for the twentieth time. Well let those nay-sayers in on a little secret. The Wii rocks and you can show your sleek machine some love before it gets the disease wherein ...
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Feb 26, 2007

Top 7 Digital Drinks

Wii Feature | Wii

Hosting a party can be a real chore. You've got to clean up, prepare food, choose music, and hide all the dead bodies if you want your guests to have a good time. Or, if you're lazy like us, you can get them liquored up to the point where they don't even notice the dead bodies, saving you hours of cleanup time. The next time you host a LAN or Mario party, skip all the dirty work and impress your friends with some ultra geeky imbibes by serving up our Top 7 Digital ...
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Feb 23, 2007

Why Zelda's worth 1,000 Wii Points

Wii Feature | Wii

N64 classic Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, heralded by some as the best game ever made, will be available on Wii's Virtual Console starting Monday, February 26th. You can download it for 1,000 Wii Points - a full 200 points cheaper than Japanese gamers had to pay. Score. We love this Miyamoto masterpiece. If you've never played the game and are still need a fistful of reasons why you should part with 1,000 of your Wii Points, look no further - here they ...
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Feb 14, 2007

Games you can't play in front of your girlfriend

Wii Feature | Wii

Real men play sports, drink beer, and know a thing or two about fixing cars. They don't know the difference between the starship Enterprise and Starship Troopers, and they don't fool around or play any games - at least, not ones like these. We're talking about the sorts of games that can be landmines of embarrassment waiting to explode, ruining your image as a somewhat normal guy. Or worse yet, the ones that are so appealing to the opposite sex that you may never get your hands on your ...
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Feb 13, 2007

Poor man's games

Wii Feature | Wii

For every Eddie Murphy there's a Chris Tucker. For every Coke there's a store-brand Cola. For every Mario, a Luigi. You get what we're talking about, right? Lurking in the shadow of every premium product, there's a low-grade, cheapo version. We're pretty sure without this good/bad, yin/yang balance the world would cease to spin on a level axis and topple into a black hole. More than anywhere (except possibly Hollywood film actors and breakfast cereals) this applies to games. We've lost count ...
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Feb 12, 2007

The Top 7... movie games that don't suck

Wii Feature | Wii

By now, you know the spiel: most Hollywood executives see movie-based games as nothing more than merchandising, no different from action figures and themed socks. Therefore, they could not give a rat's ass about quality, so long as the game sells. And therefore, most movie games are crap. And blah, blah, blah. We're not here to debate the reasons why 95% of movie games are miserable turds. We like to focus on the positive. And we know that for every 20 or so Rambos or E.T.s or Enter the ...
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Feb 1, 2007

What the hell is Dragon Quest?

Wii Feature | Wii

It's shifted 40 million units worldwide, second only to Final Fantasy in sales - in Japan it even outsells the global RPG giant. In 1988, so many people blew off work and played hooky to line up for Dragon Quest III that a law was promptly introduced banning the release of Dragon Quest titles on a weekday to stop another countrywide bout of sick-leave ...
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Jan 29, 2007

The Top 7 Edible Enemies in Video Games

Wii Feature | Wii

How many different villains have tried to take us down over the course of video game history? A million? It's probably far more, actually. Every one of which was ready to blast holes through our chests, pummel us 'til we drooled, or maybe just gnaw our torsos off. Bastards. But how many have there been whom we could literally stomach? Far fewer. Sure, Pac-Man can choke down almost anything after eating one of his big, flashing drug cakes, but those ghosts don't have any protein at all. Let's ...
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Jan 26, 2007

The Games of 2007

Wii Feature | Wii

2006 saw the launch of a couple new platforms, the building success of others and the death - more or less - of at least a few more. We played games on no less than nine systems this year, and loved stuff labeled both current gen, next gen... maybe even past gen. But, believe it or not, 2007 has even more potential. Hotly anticipated sequels. Franchises going in new directions. Favorite characters coming back for one more adventure. And, oh yeah, some new ideas and new concepts as well. Those ...
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