Wii Features

Earlier this year we deduced that Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Eye of the Beholder II – The Legend of Darkmoon is the longest game name out there. Reader comments quickly proved there were a few names out there just as long or even longer, but will you be able to find a name that’s shorter than those on this list?

Collected here are the simplest, monosyllabic game names we could dig up

Take two steps into your local Chuck E Cheese funtropolis – which, for the record, would be three steps more than we’d actually recommend you take – and it’s obvious that the days when videogame arcades were a beeping, flashing fountainhead of innovation, style and even culture are long gone.

December may offer the true climax of the holiday season, but in terms of new game releases, it's very much the calm after the storm. Most of the giant blockbusters of the season made their way out between September and November, but the final month of 2011 isn't barren by any means: big releases like Mario Kart 7 and Star Wars: The Old Republic lead the pack, while system-specific versions of some notable recent titles also find their way to store shelves. But if you read this over and don't see anything on the horizon that works you into a tizzy, surely November's overstuffed lineup holds a few leftover options to consider...

There's something about misguided attempts to amuse children that bring with them a unique streak of terror, and nowhere is that more apparent than with the noble clown. Intended to be a harmless jester with a painted face and a slapstick approach to life, the image of the clown has instead become associated with creeping dread and paranoid mistrust.

Videogame developers have tapped into this instinctive fear of clowns, and that's why the realm of interactive entertainment is chock full of nightmarish harlequins that haunt our dreams and ravage our days. You’ve probably been sleeping far too well lately, so why not keep yourself awake with thoughts of some of gaming's scariest clowns? Go on, they won't bite... except for the biting ones...

The Clash of Ninja series has been running strong for nearly four years now (even more if you’ve been importing), and at this point it’s become the fighting game equivalent to Madden. Each year you get a few welcome gameplay tweaks, slightly enhanced visuals and a roster bursting with colorful new characters.

Once again, Trailer Trash saves you from the boredom of slick, glossy, overproduced game trailers with a fine selection of craptacular awfulness guaranteed to make you\xA0 give up your favorite hobby. To wit: we have an entire page dedicated to Daisy Fuentes and her immovable boobs (that's page 2 if you want to click ahead.)

Not too long ago GR threw a big ol' pillow fight we called The Week of Hate. We got a lot of crap off our chest, and the internet rejoiced in the only way it knows how: with an amusingly disproportionate amount of resentment. And that’s beautiful! We’re all about venting here. It’s extremely therapeutic.

So, when the employees of an actual Minnesota game store sent us a list of the 50 things they hate about their customers, we couldn’t help but chuckle in agreement. Our office contains more than a few veterans of retail, and we can confirm that many of you stroll into your local GameStop completely unaware of how much of an ass you are.

Consumers: The time has come to educate yourself! Because for most of you, it’s not a question of which number below represents you - it’s how many.

Derp! Ready the eBay accounts, cause that company that prints game box art - Acme Video Game Box Art Co. Inc. Ltd., we believe they’re called - pulled a gargantuan boner and misprinted a shitload of our favorite titles. We don’t mean to call them out, but we can’t allow the public to be misled.

Back in the day we got our thrills by physically pretending to do things we couldn’t actually do. We drove go-karts to simulate NASCAR racing and bashed our LEGOs into each other while saying “PEW PEW PEW!” because we didn’t have any TIE fighters on hand. Then videogames came along and were all like, “You wanna blow up some TIE fighters?”