Now that the veneer of freshness is drying off of our copies of Modern Warfare 2, we can fully devote ourselves to complaining about the lack of dedicated servers, and just how much the maps suck because our piss poor ranking certainly isn’t due to a lack of practice and the statistical disadvantage of playing against millions of people, no! Which got us thinking: What multiplayer maps reign over all others?
A bad game port is just like an ageing beauty queen. Sure, you can tell she was kinda hot before the ravages of age crushed her looks and her spirit, but those qualities are pretty hard to see under all the cosmetic surgery and cheap mascara. The words we just done typed also relate to games… eh, just replace the reconstructive surgery with crippling slow down or terrifyingly bad pop-up. Just like the aforementioned imaginary GILF, these games were all once great. Well, until the botched facelift/half-assed ports.
Our weekly Top 7 lists usually cover timeless topics that could probably post any point throughout the year. But this week, with the newly released, critically fellated LittleBigPlanet inspiring countless cases of tiny heroes roaming gigantic worlds, we wanted to be a bit timelier and celebrate the very best of the very small.
Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and prepare to be shocked and amazed by the world’s first and only haunted internet page that is also about videogames. The amazing images inside were created by the ghost that haunts this web site. This evil spectre has infused these images with paranormal properties to show its displeasure with the world of the living. If you are faint of heart or easily susceptible to vomiting, paranoia, or giddiness, read no further and navigate your web browser away from this page right now.
There’s a widespread notion in the videogame industry that game reviews can have a profound impact on game sales, and for the most part the evidence bears that out. But as tempting as it is to gloat about the supposed power that we, the videogame press, hold over the livelihoods of publishers and developers, it’s not always true. In fact, history is littered with countless examples of megahit games that had originally been ripped to shreds by reviewers
Pac-Man and Mario owned the 1980s. Sonic, Lara and Snake took over for the 1990s. Their games are considered classics. Their names are timeless and iconic. Their images are burned into the memory of every gamer, even those who were born after the characters themselves.
Now we have another ten years worth of heroes, villains, sidekicks and love interests to occupy our imagination. Which, however, will remain there?
Like comic books and movies, videogames tend to present an exaggerated representation of men and women. Dudes are typically muscle-bound meatheads with powerful jaw lines and a thorough understanding of all forms of combat, while women generally have back-breaking chests and dress like strippers regardless of their profession.
As internet speeds and digital storage gets cheaper and cheaper every year, downloadable games get closer and closer to matching the experiences provided by their retail counterparts. They also offer the chance for smaller development teams to experiment or stray off the beaten path; we doubt that EA would ever publish a game featuring a dead fetus is a power-up. They draw the line at killing unbaptized babies in hell thank you very much. And hey, there’s no better way to detox from a 100 hour Skyrim binge than with a quick, fun 5 hour game. In anticipation of our year end Platinum Chalice awards, we’ve compiled a list of our favorite 2011 downloadable titles across all platforms to help you separate the w00t from the chaff...
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