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We wouldn’t expect any of you to have noticed, but there are recurring elements in many role-playing games. They're cleverly disguised from game to game; often, similar characters may wear different outfits or you'll use a gunblade instead of a sword, but once you learn to identify similarities, you can usually predict what’s going to happen in about any RPG you want.
Since videogames are notoriously inept at rendering romance on the screen, we’re celebrating the Valentine “holiday” with these seven most embarrassing and excruciating moments. Beware - the following kisses are so bizarre, so disgusting or so damn awkward that they could literally cause you physical pain.
For a medium that lets us chainsaw faces off, punch presidents in their plums and slaughter endangered species, it's amazing how sensitive some of us get when developers do things we don't agree with. Certainly there have been many decisions to get us all worked up, whether it's Killzone 2's 'target footage' or Shigsy shedding that last bit of lingering dignity by playing Wii Music like a diminutive Japanese John Williams. That’s
Has it really only been 12 months since the last avalanche of “Best Games of 200X” awards? Well, we all love a good list, and you won’t find a better barf bag of random praises than our own Platinum Chalice awards, the place to have someone else’s gaming opinions shoved upon you. How important are these awards? So important. Real important. What do the other guys have, gold trophies? Screw that.
Another holiday shopping season is here, bringing with it the grim realization that, once again, the game industry has failed to learn its damn lesson. Just like every other year, seemingly every game publisher on the planet has decided to shove its biggest releases onto store shelves for the holidays, confident that they won’t be buried under the avalanche of every other publisher doing the exact same thing.
Then we thought, “why stop with Street Fighter?” There’ve got to be a billion goddam skeletons creeping through virtual graveyards just begging to have their toothy visage slapped on the immortal internet. Who are we to deny them such a privilege? So, without further yammering, we present, just in time for Halloween (y Dia de los Muertos), the biggest batch of skelleys you’ve ever seen...
Ladies and gentlemen, we present the runts and rejects of the forces of darkness, the first line of defense for evil. They're kind of a joke. Nonetheless, they stand tall and straight, inches above knee level, and they bop, hop and wiggle towards any nearby heroes.
Real world definition of "mature": Showing the mental, emotional, or physical characteristics associated with a fully developed person; involving serious thought. Videogame definition of "mature": Shits, tits and gibs.