Wii Features

Like most of you, we plowed through Call of Duty 4’s single-player campaign in a day and then spent the next couple of years blasting away at multiplayer. It’s not that the campaign was horrible, far from it. The first Modern Warfare employed innovative techniques that pushed the boundaries of interactive storytelling.

Like comic books and movies, videogames tend to present an exaggerated representation of men and women. Dudes are typically muscle-bound meatheads with powerful jaw lines and a thorough understanding of all forms of combat, while women generally have back-breaking chests and dress like strippers regardless of their profession.

THE INFO BOX
Post date: November 6, 2009
T-Dar 75 length: 2:38:00
Intro song by: Anamanaguchi
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Is there anything better than a bag of popcorn, a cushy sofa on which to recline and an iPhone or iPod Touch loaded with games? Well yeah, there is, especially considering what popcorn fingers can do to a touchscreen. But when you’re on a bus on your way to work, being able to punch up a bloody gorefest like Alive 4-ever or kick it through the uprights in a football sim does help while away the commute time.

How many times in your life have you pressed “A” on a NES controller? Though we may not specifically remember every single occurrence of A-button pressage, we are left with a lingering sense of what that little red dynamo could do. Jumping, mostly, and sometimes shooting or punching or maybe some other stuff if it was one of those weird games.

Sometimes, things are better left unsaid. Sometimes, our imaginations are enough. Sometimes, ignorance really, really is bliss.

Remember Darth Vader? He used to be the epitome of evil, the most recognizable symbol of scum and villainy in cinematic history. Then we saw the prequels and learned the awful, retconned truth: “Annie” liked to build toy robots, wear pageboy haircuts, yell cutesy catchphrases and hit on his babysitters.

Does having a moustache instantly put you in the category of Mario lookalike? That's today's burning question. And we're going to answer it. Right here. Right now. To find out, we took 20 images of famous real-life men with moustaches and stuck Mario's hat on them. But before we share the results of our Photoshop experiment, let's have a close look at the Nintendo mascot's trademark 'tache.

We know we’re not alone in our ridiculous affection for the Punch-Out!! series, so it’s likely that many of you are seething with jealously over the tasty morsel Club Nintendo dropped on its Platinum Members this week.

We hate to sound like cranky ass gamers incapable of embracing “The New,” but we’re just about ready to tell motion controls to f**k off. That initial ocean of vast futuristic potential, promising to turn our entire bodies into dignified instruments of control, has officially run completely dry.

The team discuss the merits of DJ Hero as an educational tool, what everyday activity would make a good game and read out your confessions