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Super Mario Galaxy


Which real-life moustachioed man looks most like Mario?

We Photoshop Mario's hat on 20 famous hairy-faced men to find out

Words: Matt Cundy, GamesRadar UK

Does having a moustache instantly put you in the category of Mario lookalike? That's today's burning question. And we're going to answer it. Right here. Right now. To find out, we took 20 images of famous real-life men with moustaches and stuck Mario's hat on them. But before we share the results of our Photoshop experiment, let's have a close look at the Nintendo mascot's trademark 'tache.

Mario's moustache: A close look

 

Now that we've familiarised ourselves with the characteristic properties of Mario's moustache, we're suitably equipped to find out if all moustachioed men look like Mario when you stick a red cap on them. As you'll see, we rate each entry for Mario 'alikeness', which works like so:

 

Adolf Hitler

  

Despite its diminutive length, Nazi Germany's Das Fuhrer was the proud owner of one of history's most famous moustaches, which has come to be known almost exclusively as the Hitler 'tache. Its association with genocide isn't particularly attractive, however, so this type of moustache is rarely seen on the faces of right-minded people.

 

Albert Einstein

 

This is basically pretty much exactly what Mario would look like in a few years' time. That is, of course, if Mario suffered from the symptoms of physical deterioration caused by biological ageing.

 

Bill 'The Butcher' Cutting

 

Even Mario's hat of fun can't disguise the murderous malevolence that sweats from every pore of Cutting's face. If ever Cutting holidayed in the Mushroom Kingdom, we're sure he'd round off his trip by disembowelling Bowser and fashioning the rancid turtle guts into decorative festoons.

 

Borat Sagdiyev

 

Kazakhstan's high-profile advocate of the mankini shares many facial similarities with Mario. The dark, prominent eyebrows. A nose of significant dimensions. The unshifting simpleton's smile. And, of course, the 'tache that absolutely dominates the space between top lip and nostril. It's just a shame that the hat isn't big enough to cover all that hair.

 

Brad Pitt

 

With a 'tache that scrawny, Pitt can never really be a serious Mario lookalike contender. He does get to have sex with Lara Croft, though. Which is a much more desirable video game related achievement.

Earl J Hickey, Freddie Mercury, Graeme Souness, Groucho Marx and Hercule Poirot on the next page...


 
38 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Tomsta666  - 21 days 1 hour ago 
Classic Gamesradar. This why I love this site!!
skyguy343  - 21 days 1 hour ago 
brad pit doesnt get to have sex with her anymore, they're breaking up...yes i read inTouch magazine
LePsycho  - 21 days 1 hour ago 
Saddam is pretty close really. Awesome article
skaface  - 21 days 44 minutes ago 
..it's not "Das Fuhrer", but "Der Führer". The Article itself lacks humor.
TRAVthe3RD  - 21 days 35 minutes ago 
its not skaface its scarface
Bossco  - 20 days 23 hours ago 
Excellent article. I do enjoy reading about facial hair!
kimnar  - 20 days 22 hours ago 
Ron Jeremy actually played Mario in porn version of Mario adventures
"Super Hornio Brothers"
Clownsarescary  - 20 days 21 hours ago 
Lemmy has a...bulge.
NanoElite666  - 20 days 21 hours ago 
How did I know that Lemmy was going to be in this article before even getting to his page?
Clownsarescary  - 20 days 20 hours ago 
Because his face is on the picture leading to this article.
Spacegrass  - 20 days 20 hours ago 
Is Salvador Dali cuddling with an ocelot? That is just too awesome for words.

Also, that cane is much too small for a man to use, meaning that the ocelot has a pimp cane. This just keeps getting better.
Conman93  - 20 days 20 hours ago 
Lol super sadam galaxy!!!
fattoler  - 20 days 19 hours ago 
Hey what about Stalin?
GameManiac  - 20 days 19 hours ago 
I find this creepy, yet interesting.
GamesRadar is the best game-related website BY FAR!
Cyberninja  - 20 days 17 hours ago 
i have no real comment on this ....
suicidali  - 20 days 16 hours ago 
Super Smash Bros. Musical? I'd so watch that.
JoeMasturbaby  - 20 days 15 hours ago 
Eugene Hutz (singer of Gogol Bordello) wouldve been a good entry.
ironman5  - 20 days 15 hours ago 
Seeing Lemmy in this article made my day
lovinmyps3  - 20 days 14 hours ago 
My uncle would probably look a lot like Mario in the outfit.
norid  - 20 days 14 hours ago 
Jason Lee has so much talent. He can pull off a mario, be funny, act, and he was a pro skater
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