The Worst Celebrity Renders of All Time

Watch as videogames transform your favorite stars into unrecognizable monsters

Words: Charlie Barratt, GamesRadar US

 

We know what you're thinking. "Those don't look that bad!" Okay, so Cameron Diaz has been replaced with some generic extra straight out of central casting, Drew Barrymore has been replaced with the dude from Mask and Lucy Liu has been replaced by a shiny plastic bobble head. Relatively, though, they're pretty damn good.

Ah, but then you actually play the game...
(Warning: Playing of game not recommended.)


Above: Hellooooooo... ladies?

You may have wondered why Charlie's Angels only released on GameCube back in 2003. You're probably not wondering that anymore.



 

You know those sidewalk cartoonists who caricaturize celebrities by emphasizing and exaggerating their most infamous features? Who turn a big smile into the Joker's grin, or a prominent nose into Mount Everest? Something tells us one of them got a job working on Rambo for the NES.

Even funnier than Stallone's mouth breathing, jowl hanging 8-bit appearance, however, is how eerily it predicts his genuine appearance 20 years later. What was kind of cruel in 1988 has become completely accurate in 2008... though we're still not sure where the bright orange hair and chalk white skin came from.



 

Which Will Smith render reigns supreme? Bad Boys: Miami Takedown deserves definite props for recognizing that - yes - Will Smith's character does indeed wear a tank top in the movie. But Men in Black II: Alien Escape's rocking a suit and sunglasses combo. Now that's attention to detail!

Unfortunately, since the heads sitting atop both these meticulously reconstructed outfits bear absolutely no resemblance to Will Smith's actual head, we're going to have to disqualify them. If only we had a Legend of Bagger Vance render to show us the way...

Below: Does Martin Lawrence look any better in Bad Boys: Miami Takedown? Well, he does have a mustache...

 




We have a question for the folks who made Ghostbusters on Sega Genesis: What did Bill Murray do to you? Did he haunt your dreams as a child? Did he murder and devour your parents while dressed as a clown? Seriously, is there something we should know about this guy? We ask because you've portrayed him as not one, not two, but THREE totally different - yet equally sinister - monsters.

In the intro graphic - shown above - he watches us silently from the shadows, a killing machine as patient and persistent as Jason Voorhees. A few seconds later, he's Hannibal Lecter, leering at us hungrily through his plastic death mask.

When we finally start the game, we're greeted by his most unfamiliar, and therefore most frightening, form of all... something the villagers will no doubt name the Murraycapra or Billy Man, but which we can merely describe - for now - with a scream and a whimper.

 
5 Comments
MultiGamer - 8 days 9 hours ago
First! That Bill Murray one was hilarious, also the jackie chan one.
TheGreatHobbe - 8 days 9 hours ago
everyone from spiderman 3 scares me
midknight8 - 7 days 3 hours ago
Bill murray killed my parents in a clown suit too...
Flopsy - 6 days 11 hours ago
It's "fiesta" and not "siesta" under the Goldeneye entry. Fiesta is a party and siesta is a nap.
Rasy2kG - 5 days 21 hours ago
I think Val Kilmer's render in will Willow is pretty bad ass
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