Ah, Eggplant Wizard, that weird, clearly-designed-by-a-madman old bastard of the NES baddo fraternity. Completely at odds with the ancient Greek vibe of his game, EW's oddness belied a far more insidious property. With a flick of his magic staff, he could subvert his perceived squishy weakness by bringing smug little Pit down to his own level, turning him into a faceless, terminally useless, walking eggplant. That was of course a very bad thing, but it looked awesome, in a Dali's-acid-nightmare kind of way.

While we wait for that fabled, may-never-come-anyway Kid Icarus sequel, Pit can make himself useful by way of a delicious melted cheese topping.

No matter how many times Bowser attacks the Mushroom Kingdom, no matter how much fiery destruction he rains down, the proud nation will survive. The reason? Regardless of collateral damage, the Kingdom will always have an eternally renewable food source in its own fungus people. It might be cannibalism to some, but it's a necessary evil for the continued good of the country. Have you noticed how the number of Toads has increased exponentially between Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario Galaxy? That's intensive farming, that is, no doubt put into action as a direct result of the constant threat the Kingdom is under.

They didn't feel a thing. Honestly. It was quick.

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