The Darkness

This ending teaches everyone a valuable lesson about the consequences of invoking hell spawned demons to get revenge on your enemies. In the short run, they can be tempting to use and the ability to rip out your enemies hearts from their chests and gobble them up like delectable, pulsing doughnut holes is pretty cool. But after everyone's dead, you only get to hang out with your girlfriend for, like, a minute on a lame park bench that homeless people probably sleep on before never seeing her again for the rest of eternity, and we're pretty sure you also die.