Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop

Zombies and videogames go together like parasitic viruses and juicy human brains. Especially in recent years, we've had an almost ridiculous glut of zombie games, each one providing its own take on the living dead. While you may at first think of zombies uniformly as mindless flesh-eaters, you'd be surprised at what a wonderfully diverse bunch of characters they can be. Sure, the mindless flesh-eating part still stands, but there's a lot more to your average ghoul than that.

From the axe-wielding maniacs of House of the Dead to the classic rotters found in Resident Evil, there's a surprising amount of variety and depth to the common garden zombie. Read on and celebrate the diversity of animated cannibalistic corpses in all their decomposing finery...

A bad game port is just like an ageing beauty queen. Sure, you can tell she was kinda hot before the ravages of age crushed her looks and her spirit, but those qualities are pretty hard to see under all the cosmetic surgery and cheap mascara. The words we just done typed also relate to games… eh, just replace the reconstructive surgery with crippling slow down or terrifyingly bad pop-up. Just like the aforementioned imaginary GILF, these games were all once great. Well, until the botched facelift/half-assed ports.

We like to end things on a positive note. That’s why 2009 was capped with not only our annual Platinum Chalice Awards, but also a whole week’s worth of celebratory articles talking about the accomplishments of the past decade. Now though, with ’09 safely out of range for a retaliatory strike, we can piss all over the idiotic, baffling and just plain dumb occurrences that peppered our otherwise fine year.

Just a few weeks ago we celebrated the very best of 2008 with our Platinum Chalice Awards.Today though, we must temper our merriment with disdain and head-sagging shame, for these are the moments that truly made our stomachs turn.