Why Nintendo needs to make an HD console

Internet grinds to halt as we make shocking statement that no one’s definitely ever thought of before

Jenny Soccer Mom and Granny Waggle don’t give two petrified mammoth shits about HD. They’re quite content to play the little white box through a 14 inch CRT. Basically, the majority of Nintendo’s user base could care less if the game were played on rotting caribou carcass. But the core gamers, which the company goto such great pangs to stress they still care about, sure as hell do. Releasing an HD console would prove to them that it still cares about what they think… or at least still values their Pesos.


Above: Granny knows her shit

From a PR perspective, it would heal some of the damage done to Nintendo’s image in core circles. Whether the sales impact of an HD Wii would be huge or not is debateable. But the good faith Nintendo would gain from core fans and journos would at least ensure their games got more respect and enthusiastic coverage. Oh, and while we’re at it, we f*cking loathe that word. Really, ‘core’ . What was wrong with hardcore gamers? Well, apart from all the associated images of Ron Jeremy’s flaccid love tool.


It would give the Wii a fighting chance against Move and Natal

Like the new direction Sony and Microsoft are taking their consoles or not, motion control is probably going to dominate both companies’ showings at E3. With their vastly superior tech,purdy visuals, and disturbing interactive children; Wii will no longer be the shiny housewife-attracting toy.

The only real way Nintendo can combat its rivals pissing on its patch with better technology, is to either release an HD Wii or an entirely new console. And given the company’s past decision making with the DSi XL, we fully expect a high def Virtual Boy to be announced at E3.


Above: Now this would make for quite the E3 showing

Think Nintendo should release an HD console? Do you want it to ditch the Wii and start from scratch? Are you a Wii owner who'd gladly part with their readies to buy a high def version of the waggle box? Share your opinions below.

June 3, 2010

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