Why do licensed kiddie games suck?

Maybe we’re just nostalgic for the Capcom/Disney era, maybe we just don’t “get it,” but didn’t we used to like kid’s games?

Words: on February 20, 2009
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A couple of years ago our Nintendo editor, Brett Elston, rolled up his sleeves and started an inquisition. His crusade was fueled by his shamelessly excessive nostalgia for classic kid’s games like Duck Tales, Tiny Toon Adventures, and Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers, and the target of his attack was modern licensed kiddie games (also known as “expensive Frisbees”). It was a commendable cause – today’s kiddie games do seem to have a propensity for sucking, which is a disservice to the films and other properties that they're meant to represent.


Above: A good kid's game: Duck Tales... WOOO-OOOH!

Brett’s inquisition led him to Lyle Hall of Heavy Iron Studios (the studio responsible for THQ’s Pixar games, among others) to get his opinion on why writers like us give their SpongeBob efforts so much crap (oh, how cruel we can be - making fun of kiddie games!). And then… well, apparently the whole thing started to make Brett very sad, because the interview got tucked deep in a folder somewhere on his hard drive and buried by a byte-mass of lolcats, 8-bit soundtracks, and whatever else Brett downloads. The inquisition was apparently over.


Above: We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little looney!

But then it wasn't! Two years later that interview magically floated through the ether(net) and into my inbox. I listened to what Heavy Iron had to say about the merits of licensed kid’s games (or at least their games), and composed a few responses. Lyle made some great points, many of which I can't fully refute, but I still think that in general, licensed games suck. Here's why:

Lyle: “There are just as many bad games that aren’t for kids as there are bad games for kids. Quality is a definite challenge for titles across the industry, across genres, across companies. …It’s unfair to say that all kid’s games are bad. There’s just as many good kid’s games out there as there are good non-kid’s games.”


Above: Wall-E being evacuated from his own game

True, there probably are as many crappy non-kid-oriented games as there are crappy kid’s games, but I hesitate to agree that there are as many good kid’s games as there are good non-kid’s games. “Kid’s games” is a semi-specific genre, whereas “every-other-game-not-made-specifically-for-children” is not specific at all. Shooters aren’t known for being bad, RPGs aren’t known for being bad, M-rated games aren’t known for being bad – so why are kiddie games? Something must have earned them this reputation.

Plus, these licenses are exclusive – we only get one Wall-E game, and if it sucks (which it did), that’s all we ever get (unless it’s remade in 10 years). A new IP that bombs is forgettable, but we’re much less forgiving when a film we love is sloppily repackaged and resold to eager children.

Lyle: “You remember Total Recall, right? That was a big huge licensed release. The Terminator was a big huge licensed release. I think nostalgia has to be somewhat at fault here, because I don’t remember those games being particularly good back then. And again we all know that, especially this day and age, quality and quantity of sales don’t necessarily attribute to each other, but you have to think that something which sells a lot of units is certainly reaching its intended audience. I think people are jaded by that aspect: ‘Oh here comes another kid’s game that’s going to sell a bunch of units because it’s got a movie behind it.’ Yeah, that’s been the case for almost 20 years, since Acclaim and Ocean were licensing those games. When you get presented with a really incredibly compelling property like Finding Nemo, or Incredibles, or Cars, I mean, geez, Cars did better as a videogame than it did in the box office. People like the interactive experience, they like the videogame experience, and it doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing to everybody.”

Big movie licenses have always sold games – good games, mediocre games, and worse-than-liver-soup games. And you do have to assume that they’re reaching their intended audiences, because their intended audiences are anyone who will buy them. The real question is: are developers and publishers exploiting their licensed properties by putting out shoddy games and assuming they'll sell?


“...even going back before the Pixar stuff, we worked on two SpongeBob games and a Scooby Doo Game and I think THQ kind of has taken that mold and tried to replicate that at not only our other internal studios, but with the developer’s that we’ve worked with… We’re not looking to find the lowest common denominator developer to do something exploitative of the license. We really want to find someone passionate about the license and deliver something cool and entertaining.”

I have no reason to doubt the honest intentions of THQ, but if this is the case, why is it so hard for us to see the passion that apparently went into something like Wall-E? And stepping away from THQ, what of games like Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (oh man, really bad) and Hannah Montana: Spotlight World Tour? Where is this passion? Are the kids and parents seeing something we aren't?

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Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, PC, DS, Xbox, GameCube

48 Comments
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  • deathrebellion

    deathrebellion  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    well to tell the truth i kinda liked playin kiddie games when i wuz a kid but now it just isn't gud enough for my taste. sum total is that kids and part time gamers will buy games that have their fav. movies or stuff just to get that interaction. but hardcore gamers won't
    Reply
  • drewcconley

    drewcconley  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    many good points made in both the article, and all the comments. kiddie games do suck. while thq may flaunt "impressive" numbers for kiddie games, congrats, you fascinated parents, grandparents and little kids with your box art featuring hannah montana and their favorite movie character. that has no relation to the quality of the games. i understand it may be difficult to expand and make good games of of thoughtfully developed movies with closed endings. in reality, i do not think much expansion is required upon movies, at least not total scenes and largely unrelated adventures i remember from renting toy story 2 as a kid. but really, a two hour-ish long movie does not need major expansion, maybe little extensions on feature that the director faled to follow up, and a button mashing kid wouldn't really care about the depth of the game in the first place. excuse for the scatter-brained crazieness, but moral of the story is that kiddie games suck, and until a developer spends the same amount of time on a kiddie game as they would a non-kiddie game, that will never change
    Reply
  • tysr36

    tysr36  - 2 years, 11 months ago  - Report

    Nice article

    I thought Kung-fu Panda was decent. It's my favorite that has come out in the past 5 years.
    Reply
  • h3110

    h3110  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    u guys r lame ur like 40 years old and ur playing walle
    Reply
  • Gotxxrock

    Gotxxrock  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    I remember loving one Toy Story game during the waning years of my child hood. It was on the N64. I think it was simply entitled Toy Story. You played as Buzz Lightyear, and it was just a 3D platformer in witch you just jumped around, shot things with your not so fake wrist laser, and had a rather good time of it.
    Miss those old platformer days =(
    Reply
  • beoftw

    beoftw  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    I have to disagree. to this date i can only name maybe a small handfull of good games intended for kids. especially based off movies. and when i think back at the games i played growing up there was donky knong, aladin, mega man, metroid, etc. idk about u guys but i dont see how anyone can get off saying that games made based off of kids movies today are worth the dvds their printed on.
    Reply
  • CoD_22

    CoD_22  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    @Jbo87, have you played scoopy doo on gameboy? its 2d and you wouldnt believe how boring they managed to make a platformer. actually that could be another article: why do platforming games have such a great reputation for being good? think about it, mario, sonic (when it was still a platformer now its a 3d mess of camera angles and ease), lbp, donkey kong, all the retro ones you people at gr seem to like that i dont rememeber(mega man etc.)
    Reply
  • CoD_22

    CoD_22  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    spiderman 2 actually wasnt that bad kinda fun to play let you really feel like you were spiderman and it could be more challenging if you wanted with stuff like the pizza delivery. not great graphics now though, and the 3rd really sucked as a game. im not sure it is to do with whether you grew up with the stuff though, im 13 and i dont really remember any good licensed kids games from the gba days (oh, the good old days of mario bros 3) or at the moment even i just tend not to buy them. sometimes ill download a demo if i really want it to be good, but then it turns out to suck like the rest (im looking at you, iron man) although, the whole lego series was pretty fun back when it was in its first carnation (now its just getting boring its so repetitive with indiana jones and batman adding to star wars) i think the whole problem is that the developers have to stick to set storylines when they base them on a film and mostly they dont bother to expand on it (when they do, they are usually better for it), and they know that they just have to mix up some cutscenes and some gameplay, get some good box artwork and a decent trailer and shove it in between the cif actifizz and ben 10 action figure adverts on citv, because the audience they are aiming it at wont read the reviews and wont even care that much if it sucks. i just wrote a lot didnt i?
    Reply
  • Jbo87

    Jbo87  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    I think some of the problem is due to the advances in gaming hardware. During the 2D gaming era there were serious limits to how complicated you could make a game. The difference back then between kiddie and adult was the source material. I.e. Shinobi was an 'adult' game whereas 'Ducktale' was a kids game but due to the 2D factor they were ultimately quite similar to play.

    Once 3D gaming arrived and gameplay variety increased we became much more discerning. Maybe the answer to the 'Kiddie Question' is to go back to 2D games. This would give those gamers who want a 2D rennaisance something to chew on and these games could be made insanely good looking with modern tech.
    Reply
  • scbyfn4evr

    scbyfn4evr  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    (I liked The Karate Kid too.)
    Reply
  • gbiZZle08

    gbiZZle08  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    i agree with skelt. there's a reason why adult's don't like kiddie games. they are made specifically for little kids who aren't necessarily looking for a challenge but for entertainment and to play as they favorite character from a show or whatever. I'm pretty sure that if i went back and played some of the games i played as a kid i would be like, "why the hell did i play this?"
    Reply
  • kompressorlogik

    kompressorlogik  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    Some of my fondest memories of gaming as a kid were playing Aladdin and Lion King on the Genesis. I'm not sure what I'd think of them today, but I'm inclined to say they'd still hold up. *nostalgic sigh*
    Reply
  • Jordo141

    Jordo141  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    Even not too far back "Kiddie" games were not that bad. I remember playing the Hercules and A Bugs Life games on the PS1 and there were pretty good imo; and I was around 10 so I would at least have some idea of how good games were.
    Reply
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde

    GamesRadarTylerWilde  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    Man, I loved the hell out of Aladdin. Though I don't know, I haven't played it recently to see if I'd still enjoy it.
    Reply
  • BodyDamage

    BodyDamage  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    "Things have changed. When I was a kid, games were hard, and that's just how it was. Oh, you're five? That's great - have a billion projectiles cascading across the screen and try not to get hit, bitch. There were no games that our parents praised for being easy, and we didn't run to them when we couldn't get past a level - we just kept trying." If anything in the world is the written truth, this is it right here.
    Reply
  • pimlicosound

    pimlicosound  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    Kung Fu Panda on X360 was probably the best licensed game I've played lately. It captured the look and the humour of the film very well, and it wasn't horrible to play - certainly no worse than any other beat-em-up.

    What the hell is up with this reCaptcha!? It's just a black splotch! There might be some numbers in there, but they could just be oddly-shaped blobs.
    Reply
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde

    GamesRadarTylerWilde  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    You're probably right! We tend to have fond memories of the stuff we grew up with, regardless of its actual quality. I went back and watched some old TV shows I grew up with recently, and realized that they were actually very, very bad. This whole time I was thinking they were amazing.

    Some things DO hold up though, now and then... and they become legendary. I went back and played A Link to The Past not that long ago, and it was absolutely as good as I remembered it to be.
    Reply
  • Unoriginal

    Unoriginal  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    I always love your articles Tyler and this one is no exeption.

    Most of the people that have fond memories of kiddie games "back in the day" were growing up "back in the day" and they are todays gamers.
    Maybe in 15-20 years, when todays kids inherit the gaming websites and magazines, we'll see features speaking as kindly about Spongebob games as we do about Ducktales and questioning 2020's kiddie games.
    Reply
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde

    GamesRadarTylerWilde  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    It was OK for the first level or two, I wasn't feeling much soul after a while though, and the movie was all about soul. :)
    Reply
  • THORSTEINTHESTAFFSTRUCK

    THORSTEINTHESTAFFSTRUCK  - 2 years, 12 months ago  - Report

    I actually have Wall E. It isn't too bad, but the atmosphere is pretty good.
    Reply
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