Which real-life moustachioed man looks most like Mario?

Martin Luther King

We never thought we'd see a picture of Martin Luther King looking like a model train enthusiast, but we just have.

Ron Jeremy

In the Mario lookalike stakes, this portly star of pornography is generally considered to be top of the list. As you can see here, Jeremy has gone to the trouble of actually dressing up like his supposed video game double, so we didn't even have to Photoshop on the hat. We don't know if Jeremy had sex with anyone while he was dressed as Mario. We're going to go out on a limb and say that Saddam Hussein in his hey day looks more like Mario than Ron Jeremy.

Saddam Hussein

If he'd never been rumbled from that hiding hole in the ground and subsequently hanged to death, the erstwhile Iraqi prime minister could easily have embarked on a new and lucrative career as Baghdad's most authentic Mario impersonator.

Salvador Dali

The surrealist painter of floppy clocks sports a characteristically bizarre and seemingly magnetically opposed moustache that displays thrill-seeking levels of extreme verticality. Looks bugger all like Mario, though.

Seth Armstrong

Former hairy-faced star of British TV's farming-based soap opera, Emmerdale. Thoroughbred moustaches of this particular breed are mandatory in West Yorkshire for men over 50.

Pointless conclusion

There's quite clearly more to being a Mario lookalike than just having a moustache on your face. There are many other defining characteristics that must be taken into account. The smile, shape of head and disproportionately large nose all contribute significantly to the overall impression of someone bearing a striking resemblance to Mario. And, despite our extensive research, we've yet to find any real man - living or dead - who actually has a moustache that genuinely looks anything like Mario's.

This article has been written to coincide neatly with the money-raising, hair-growing fun of Movember.

November 5, 2009

Unlikely gaming lookalikes
See our gallery of misshapen identities

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A unique look at Nintendo’s mascot

Celebrity Xbox Avatars
Famous game heroes, movie stars and politicians

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  • Commander034 - May 16, 2011 9:46 p.m.

    How is Stalin not on here?
  • Craza - November 11, 2009 2:41 a.m.

    Honestly? Saddam Hussein? Wow....Ron Jeremy looks more like Mario than Hussein. >.< And if Borat's mustache turned upwards, I would vote for him. XD
  • gmilf71 - November 10, 2009 8:05 a.m.

    No Josef Stalin?! Well I guess you covered that with Hussein. And nice Bill the butcher part. And lemmy. lol.
  • hadkrad - November 8, 2009 2:35 p.m.

    earl looks the most like mario
  • super0sonic - November 8, 2009 6:39 a.m.

    The Lack of Lou Albano and Bob Hoskins make me sad :(
  • marioman50 - November 7, 2009 4:50 p.m.

    Yeah, I agree with fattoler Stalin could pull off a killer Mario look!
  • brickman409 - November 7, 2009 3:41 a.m.

    lol i was just watching an episode of my name is earl
  • InanimateCarbonTodd - November 7, 2009 2:51 a.m.

    "80s TV's greatest private investigator *must* have been on the short list for the Super Mario Bros movie. His chest was probably a bit too hairy, though." They cast Bob Hoskins. Have you _seen_ his chest (not to mention his back and shoulders)?
  • Xplosive59 - November 6, 2009 9:20 p.m.

    Lemmy is to awesome to mario, and mario isnt god
  • Unoriginal - November 6, 2009 9:20 p.m.

  • hunterXhunter - November 6, 2009 8:18 p.m.

    What would John Waters be? 2 Marios?
  • Samael - November 6, 2009 6:58 p.m.

    @cyberninja Then why the fuck did you decide to comment and waste even more space than you usually do? Funny article, though there were a lot of English people I've never heard of. Oh well.
  • Romination - November 6, 2009 5:24 p.m.

    goddang it, Salvador Dali is weird... A true inspiration
  • SuperGoomba64 - November 6, 2009 1:45 p.m.

    This article is epic win for a My Name is Earl reference.
  • Sabtos - November 6, 2009 3:09 a.m.

    I think Ron Jeremy and Borat were pretty close.
  • NanoElite666 - November 6, 2009 2:51 a.m.

    @Clownsarescary See now, but I read the article before it was ever displayed up in the main features setion.
  • Ddz53 - November 6, 2009 1:15 a.m.

    follicle fractures... lol
  • Hobojedi - November 6, 2009 12:55 a.m.

    It's nice to have a rating key in the the article for once.
  • speno93 - November 6, 2009 12:52 a.m.

    Saddam Hussain's death was probably organised by Nintendo in order to protect their copyright. In fact the invasion was probably all organized by Nintendo in order to bring the one who copyrighted their mascot's look to justice. The truth must be told!
  • norid - November 6, 2009 12:12 a.m.

    Jason Lee has so much talent. He can pull off a mario, be funny, act, and he was a pro skater