Which real-life moustachioed man looks most like Mario?

Hulk Hogan

Deserves one extra Mario alikeness point for having a daughter that could easily get the part of Princess Peach in a stage production of Super Smash Bros: The Musical.

Lando Calrissian

Definitely no chance of being mistaken for Mario anytime soon. But Calrissian sure can make that hat work for him in ways that Mario can only dream of.


The Motorhead front man's sideburn and 'tache killer combo deserves its own place in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. If Lemmy's 'tache had a fight with Mario's 'tache, there's no prize for guessing which facial decoration would wake up in the hair hospital with multiple follicle fractures.

Magnum, P.I.

In terms of bush density the 'tash is pretty much on the money. In fact, with the addition of the hat, 80s TV's greatest private investigator *must* have been on the short list for the Super Mario Bros movie. His chest was probably a bit too hairy, though.

Mark 'Chopper' Read

Perhaps somewhere in an alternate universe this would be the ultimate Mario doppelganger. But not here. Which is a shame. The idea of a heavily tattooed Mario dishing out some meat-cleaver assisted justice in the Mushroom Kingdom appeals to us immensely.

Martin Luther King, Ron Jeremy, Saddam Hussein, Salvador Dali and Seth Armstrong on the next page...


  • Commander034 - May 16, 2011 9:46 p.m.

    How is Stalin not on here?
  • Craza - November 11, 2009 2:41 a.m.

    Honestly? Saddam Hussein? Wow....Ron Jeremy looks more like Mario than Hussein. >.< And if Borat's mustache turned upwards, I would vote for him. XD
  • gmilf71 - November 10, 2009 8:05 a.m.

    No Josef Stalin?! Well I guess you covered that with Hussein. And nice Bill the butcher part. And lemmy. lol.
  • hadkrad - November 8, 2009 2:35 p.m.

    earl looks the most like mario
  • super0sonic - November 8, 2009 6:39 a.m.

    The Lack of Lou Albano and Bob Hoskins make me sad :(
  • marioman50 - November 7, 2009 4:50 p.m.

    Yeah, I agree with fattoler Stalin could pull off a killer Mario look!
  • brickman409 - November 7, 2009 3:41 a.m.

    lol i was just watching an episode of my name is earl
  • InanimateCarbonTodd - November 7, 2009 2:51 a.m.

    "80s TV's greatest private investigator *must* have been on the short list for the Super Mario Bros movie. His chest was probably a bit too hairy, though." They cast Bob Hoskins. Have you _seen_ his chest (not to mention his back and shoulders)?
  • Xplosive59 - November 6, 2009 9:20 p.m.

    Lemmy is to awesome to mario, and mario isnt god
  • Unoriginal - November 6, 2009 9:20 p.m.

  • hunterXhunter - November 6, 2009 8:18 p.m.

    What would John Waters be? 2 Marios?
  • Samael - November 6, 2009 6:58 p.m.

    @cyberninja Then why the fuck did you decide to comment and waste even more space than you usually do? Funny article, though there were a lot of English people I've never heard of. Oh well.
  • Romination - November 6, 2009 5:24 p.m.

    goddang it, Salvador Dali is weird... A true inspiration
  • SuperGoomba64 - November 6, 2009 1:45 p.m.

    This article is epic win for a My Name is Earl reference.
  • Sabtos - November 6, 2009 3:09 a.m.

    I think Ron Jeremy and Borat were pretty close.
  • NanoElite666 - November 6, 2009 2:51 a.m.

    @Clownsarescary See now, but I read the article before it was ever displayed up in the main features setion.
  • Ddz53 - November 6, 2009 1:15 a.m.

    follicle fractures... lol
  • Hobojedi - November 6, 2009 12:55 a.m.

    It's nice to have a rating key in the the article for once.
  • speno93 - November 6, 2009 12:52 a.m.

    Saddam Hussain's death was probably organised by Nintendo in order to protect their copyright. In fact the invasion was probably all organized by Nintendo in order to bring the one who copyrighted their mascot's look to justice. The truth must be told!
  • norid - November 6, 2009 12:12 a.m.

    Jason Lee has so much talent. He can pull off a mario, be funny, act, and he was a pro skater

Showing 1-20 of 38 comments

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