Which real-life moustachioed man looks most like Mario?

Earl J Hickey


The eyebrows and 'tache unquestionably have a good Mario vibe and the face as a whole has a good Nintendo endorsed friendliness about it. He also looks a lot more like a properly qualified, approved and registered plumber than Mario.


Freddie Mercury


Mario would never make a face like that.


Graeme Souness


Here we see legendary Liverpool and Scotland midfielder Graeme Souness proudly representing the archetypal 'tach favoured by footballers in the late 70s and early 80s. Flip it 180 degrees and it'd be a dead ringer for Mario's face hair.


Groucho Marx


It's Super Cuban Revolutionary Mario.


Hercule Poirot


The upward elevation of the 'tache tips is more severe, but Poirot could definitely indulge in a little Mario cosplay without having to make much effort at all. Although, we suppose, he'd have to work on the accent if he really wanted to seal the deal.


Hulk Hogan, Lando Calrissian, Lemmy, Magnum, P.I. and Mark 'Chopper' Read on the next page...


  • Commander034 - May 16, 2011 9:46 p.m.

    How is Stalin not on here?
  • Craza - November 11, 2009 2:41 a.m.

    Honestly? Saddam Hussein? Wow....Ron Jeremy looks more like Mario than Hussein. >.< And if Borat's mustache turned upwards, I would vote for him. XD
  • gmilf71 - November 10, 2009 8:05 a.m.

    No Josef Stalin?! Well I guess you covered that with Hussein. And nice Bill the butcher part. And lemmy. lol.
  • hadkrad - November 8, 2009 2:35 p.m.

    earl looks the most like mario
  • super0sonic - November 8, 2009 6:39 a.m.

    The Lack of Lou Albano and Bob Hoskins make me sad :(
  • marioman50 - November 7, 2009 4:50 p.m.

    Yeah, I agree with fattoler Stalin could pull off a killer Mario look!
  • brickman409 - November 7, 2009 3:41 a.m.

    lol i was just watching an episode of my name is earl
  • InanimateCarbonTodd - November 7, 2009 2:51 a.m.

    "80s TV's greatest private investigator *must* have been on the short list for the Super Mario Bros movie. His chest was probably a bit too hairy, though." They cast Bob Hoskins. Have you _seen_ his chest (not to mention his back and shoulders)?
  • Xplosive59 - November 6, 2009 9:20 p.m.

    Lemmy is to awesome to mario, and mario isnt god
  • Unoriginal - November 6, 2009 9:20 p.m.

  • hunterXhunter - November 6, 2009 8:18 p.m.

    What would John Waters be? 2 Marios?
  • Samael - November 6, 2009 6:58 p.m.

    @cyberninja Then why the fuck did you decide to comment and waste even more space than you usually do? Funny article, though there were a lot of English people I've never heard of. Oh well.
  • Romination - November 6, 2009 5:24 p.m.

    goddang it, Salvador Dali is weird... A true inspiration
  • SuperGoomba64 - November 6, 2009 1:45 p.m.

    This article is epic win for a My Name is Earl reference.
  • Sabtos - November 6, 2009 3:09 a.m.

    I think Ron Jeremy and Borat were pretty close.
  • NanoElite666 - November 6, 2009 2:51 a.m.

    @Clownsarescary See now, but I read the article before it was ever displayed up in the main features setion.
  • Ddz53 - November 6, 2009 1:15 a.m.

    follicle fractures... lol
  • Hobojedi - November 6, 2009 12:55 a.m.

    It's nice to have a rating key in the the article for once.
  • speno93 - November 6, 2009 12:52 a.m.

    Saddam Hussain's death was probably organised by Nintendo in order to protect their copyright. In fact the invasion was probably all organized by Nintendo in order to bring the one who copyrighted their mascot's look to justice. The truth must be told!
  • norid - November 6, 2009 12:12 a.m.

    Jason Lee has so much talent. He can pull off a mario, be funny, act, and he was a pro skater

Showing 1-20 of 38 comments

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