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What your character designs say about you

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3. The Monstrosity

Description: When adjusting the height of a character's chin or the distance between his or her eyes, most people stick to the middle few ticks on the slide bar. Not you. You go for the extremes, the edges that designers hoped you would avoid. Your nose is level with your eyes, your cheekbones abnormally low, your jowls particularly bulgy, your hairline receding to an obscene degree. Even if your character somehow passes as normal, you will destroy his dignity with feather boas, mohawks, green skin and Scottish kilts. No matter how serious the game, your character is bound to look absolutely ridiculous.


Above: Yes, that's a woman

Psychoanalysis: The aformentioned silly behavior emerges from an undisciplined or over-protective childhood. The extremes exercised in your youth directly translate to your unabashed enjoyment of extremes later in life. Once socially depraved, you are now outgoing and tend to succumb to impulsive outbursts of wild expression. You are dismissive of shame. Naked dreams do not terrify you. For all you care, they might not even be dreams. Creative and often an embarrassment to others, you are what psychologists call “weird.” Chatroulette is made for people of your kind.


4. The Look-a-like

Description: Your inspiration is not your own physical features or your bizarre desires. Instead, you like to recreate celebrities, historical figures and movie characters. When scrolling through costumes and hairdos, you immediately begin associating certain options with possible character recreations. Once you spot that clock necklace among WWE's in-game accessories, Flavor Flav has to be on your Wrestlemania roster. Your Wii parade features Hitler, Einstein and Kim Jong Il. You'll even download skins if it means you get to play as Sarah Palin in Mercenaries 2 or Queen Amidala in Sims 3.


Above: Conan O'Brien pre-NBC fiasco

Psychoanalysis: While the Dream is a manipulation of reality, the Look-A-Like turns reality on its head. Due to a lack of intellectual stimulation at a young age, you seek activity and humor in even the least likely of places. You like to make Einstein bat a home run or Obama commandeer a tank because reality simply doesn't allow for it. However, your passion for theatrical display most likely extends beyond video games. Maybe you cosplay. Maybe you act. Whatever the case may be, you love making a scene and take pride in either making people smile or making them recoil in fear and disgust. As long as you get a reaction, you've done your job.


5. The Badass

Description: Character customization isn't just about looks. It's about making the best hero or athlete for the job. If that includes making him a stud, so be it. Males, your character needs to be a god among men with unparalleled strength, swag and lady-killing charm. Females, you need to make the strongest, most stunning babe with a knack for being just plain awesome. Friends and NPCs alike will gaze upon your character with envy.


Above: This Commander Shepard will snap your neck

Psychoanalysis: Your transhumanistic views liberate you from the confines of reality. Whether this makes you optimistic or just plain irrational, you are intent on taking full advantage of the virtual escape video games have to offer. Role-playing be damned. Your money goes toward a full-fledged, fictional gaming experience, whether that's kicking ass in Saints Row 2 with your gang-banging stud muffin or taking names as a death-defying dark Jedi in The Old Republic. Even outside of video games, you strive to get the most bang for your buck. You've only got one life, and you plan on making it count.

Plus, you know – you look awesome.

Jan 12, 2011

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53 comments

  • xXgodlypunkXx - January 12, 2011 10:37 p.m.

    None of these really apply to my character creation. this was a good read though
  • Clovin64 - January 12, 2011 10:37 p.m.

    I like creating badass tough guy characters in character creation mode. That psychoanalysis bit sounded about right too. I like creating characters much cooler than myself. *sob*
  • Murderapolis612 - January 12, 2011 10:41 p.m.

    6. The Asian Description: You make yourself Asian. Psychoanalysis: None. For some reason it's just easier to make video game characters look like actual real human beings when you choose the "Asian" option. Also you are good at math.
  • BluesyFish - January 12, 2011 10:43 p.m.

    The Dream over here. I mean, why have no abs when a six pack is almost always the default? Like, I'm gonna go out of my way to not have abs? Charight.
  • hardcore_gamer1990 - January 12, 2011 10:49 p.m.

    I'm a mix of monstrosity and badass. I make the ultimate looking villain.
  • D0CCON - January 12, 2011 10:52 p.m.

    It depends on the game, but I usually end up creating myself. If it's saints row 2, it would be the monstrosity or if I'm going to do an evil playthrough in Fallout 3 I'll make my character look like the Joker (yeah, original), but in most cases it'll be me.
  • Crypto140 - January 12, 2011 10:53 p.m.

    Now is there a law that says I have to look just like me in video games. Mabey a smaller nose here and bigger muscles there, and I will replace every mirror in my house with a TV. Wake up in the moring, and say "Boy do I look sexy"! Who needs coffe when you look at "yourself".
  • FanofSaiyan - January 12, 2011 11:12 p.m.

    I could consider myself a mixture of The Dreamer, The Look-a-like and The Badass... I've made multiple characters in different Guitar Hero games that look like Super Saiyan Goku from Dragon Ball Z.
  • Markstone - January 12, 2011 11:12 p.m.

    This would make an interesting lesson in a basic psych class :D
  • mahabat - January 12, 2011 11:14 p.m.

    haha we made a way better conan then that! haha you know who can be made perfectly with the live avatar stuff is the Monopoly Guy, it's almost creepy how perfectly he can be made, almost like it was supposed to happen.
  • celticsfan645 - January 12, 2011 11:23 p.m.

    Im all over the place, so i probalby have multiple personality disorder. sigh.
  • HowdyCowboyCheesesBurger0911 - January 12, 2011 11:53 p.m.

    All things being equal i'll usually build a hot female caracter, unless gender effects my stats.
  • codzprc - January 12, 2011 11:58 p.m.

    7. The Hot Chick Description: In real life you're a guy, but create a ridiculously attractive female character. Psychoanalysis: You have good foresight. Given the choice between staring at some burly man-ass for hours on end* or the backside of an attractive heroine - the latter wins out. *only applies to 3rd person games.
  • LordRevan111 - January 13, 2011 12:11 a.m.

    how about the lazy... you know whoever picks the default model
  • Marz - January 13, 2011 12:15 a.m.

    Gamesradar employees: leaders, gamers, writers, love makers, therapists... you people amaze me.
  • Japanaman - January 13, 2011 12:19 a.m.

    Wow, am I stereotypical! 1. I made myself in Sims 1, every TH game, and PS Home. 2. I made myself better looking in every SDVR game out there. 3. I always make a monstrosity in every SDVR game out there. 4. My avatar is a look alike. 5. I make myself look like a BA in SDVR and THUG. But you forgot to mention cross dressers. I only play as short, female elves in PSO. Then again, that was the last character I picked after being horrible with every single character so I have an excuse. I'm goond with magic and being smaller makes you a smaller target. Of course, I did play as "Goth Girl" on THUG2 and people assumed I really was a girl. I just wanted to know if I could fool people and yeah, I guess I knew how to talk like a girl. But that was the only time, people!
  • Japanaman - January 13, 2011 12:23 a.m.

    I forgot to mention I made myself a BA in Guitar Hero: Van Halen so I could play with the legendary band. But I do make original characters. I made around 60 original wretlers for Smackdown, made a female archer in Guild Wars, and in Saints Row, I went wild. Part 1 I made a blonde haired boy band member with a white shirt and red tie who slowly evolved into a purple "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" dude during the course of the game. Because he looked so girly and slightly emo, I made him a girl in Part 2, but of course, she has slightly manly muscles and the same face, so she kind of looks like the dude she use to be.
  • Japanaman - January 13, 2011 12:25 a.m.

    My biggest complaint in CAP, CAWs, or whatever is side burns. Most games don't have them or the ability to choose length. The TH series is the only one that lets me choose full sideburns with a goatee. Most games only have half or really funky goatees.
  • batouyukinawa - January 13, 2011 12:33 a.m.

    It's just a humorous article. You can't quantify something as diverse, and intricate, as personality. I'd say in a broad stroke generalization sort'a way; this makes some points.
  • SirDinkleman - January 13, 2011 1:08 a.m.

    yeah i think 6 should be the asian, i made an asian clone of myself in mass effect. And hes paler than ever in mass effect 2

Showing 1-20 of 53 comments

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