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What type of GTA player are you?

Modus Operandi: The Hater is the type of player who hasn't ever finished a GTA story mode. Nor has he completed a GTA mission. Sometimes, he will come over to your house, take the controller and ask what the "shoot" button is every time he sees a pedestrian. Don't make the mistake of thinking this means that he knows how to play; he will come back over and do the same thing again tomorrow.

The Hater will refuse to listen to any advice or read any instructions. If you attempt to tell him that you're halfway through a mission and you'd really rather he didn't take out the baseball bat and hit a police officer right now, he won't hear you. He'll be too busy making loud proclamations about why GTA is a stupid game, saying he doesn't understand what the appeal is and hitting the cop with a bat. After that, he'll ask how to get away from the angry policeman, but it'll be too late.

Won't be caught dead: Admitting he had fun playing GTA.

True Identity: The Hater has one series that he loves to play and loves to talk about, over and over. GTA is just a lesser version of whatever his favorite game is. Aside from games, he will frequently have an unusually blockheaded passion for a sports team in a state that he has never lived in. Most of his T-shirts will tell you his nationality, and if you attempt to talk to him about any subject, he will explain to you why they're the best at cooking, baseball, inventing stuff, drinking or politics. Any attempt you make to find a middle-ground, say by saying something like, "Hi, nice T-shirt. I like the color green too," will not be accepted. He will simply tell you that he doesn't get why people like the color green, and that he is only wearing this shirt because it's laundry day so he doesn't have his favorite Final Fantasy, World of Warcraft or Canada Rulez apparel.

Often heard saying: "What's this button do?"

1 comment

  • _D-Man_ - June 21, 2009 11:20 p.m.

    First. Great article, I happen to be a Storyteller and my friend is a risk addict.

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