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What type of GTA player are you?

Modus Operandi: Ignoring linear gameplay in favor of violent upheaval, performing unspeakable acts that would see someone expelled (or executed) by most civil societies. We’re talking about the guy who doesn’t need a Rampage event to go on a killing spree. Or the gentleman who knows exactly how many policemen you need to headshot before you can get into an army tank and mow down unwitting pedestrians and sedans. (Like you haven’t done it!)

Won't be caught dead: Watching a cutscene or advancing the story. At least, not when there’s a prostitute somewhere out there left unbludgeoned by a giant purple dildo. This misanthropic player feels that nothing puts a damper on anarchy and chaos like exposition from Ray Liotta, and would sooner leave Vice City dead and smoldering than get to the end credits.

True Identity: Sure, the schoolyard misfit would feel right at home in this category, but get over it Jack Thompson! We know more than a few repressed doormats and conservative shut-ins who yearn to break free of life’s routine and engage in the apex of antisocial behavior that only GTA can provide. Hey, it beats the hell out of a real-world manifestation, right?

Often heard saying: “No... I wasn’t kicking the old lady to death! I was checking her heartbeat with my foot.”

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1 comment

  • _D-Man_ - June 21, 2009 11:20 p.m.

    First. Great article, I happen to be a Storyteller and my friend is a risk addict.

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