Day five: Politics 101 with Rico Rodriguez
"Why have you brought this folder with you? No folders!" said Rico, grabbing the documents out of my hands and throwing them out of the helicopter.
"I... oh. I thought we might have to write something down."
"No writing either!"
"Okay." I went to write that down, but then didn't.
"So you're currently in the process of destabilising this island, Rico?" I asked.
"That's right! I am destabilising it on behalf of the CIA for reasons that I can barely remember or understand."
"And you're doing that how? Funding underground freedom fighter cells? Supplying guns to antagonistic external factions? Blockades? Trade sanctions? Misinformation?"
"EXPLOSIONS," said Rico, failing to hide an obvious and sudden erection. "ONLY EXPLOSIONS."
"Explosions," I said, trying not to look. "Just.. anywhere?"
"Fuck yeah," he said, grinning widely. "All explosions. All the time. Nothing is more unstable than an explosion."
"Oh, so it's philosophical, then? Like a Zen koan?"
"If that helps you, kid, sure. Now fire this rocket launcher into that built-up area beneath us for MAD POINTS."