What games would a noob buy?

A game store. A handful of cash. And three non-gamers.

Test subject C: Michelle

Despite claiming to know nothing about the pursuit of virtual merriment, Michelle was probably the most game savvy of our three newbies. Her boyfriend plays PC games and she recently bought the PS3 version of Need for Speed ProStreet at the behest of her brother. Christmas time introduced Michelle to the Wii - she gloved up for some boxing - and she's of the opinion that Nintendo's wizzy-wand console is "pretty good".

The purchase

After hunting fruitlessly for Zelda: Twilight Princess (which she'd heard positive things about), Michelle bounced blindly around the shop and eventually made optimum use of her funds and chose two Wii games - Happy Feet and Spider-Man: Friend or Foe. So what was the attraction with Happy Feet? "Me and my little sister would be able to play it. I love the film, so would be interested to see what the game was like." Fair enough, but what about the Spidey purchase? "Again, I got this because I've seen Spider-Man 3 and I thought the flying things [points to Green Goblin on the cover] look really cool."

Obvious conclusion

Michelle's adventure in a game store started with honourable intentions, but when scuppered by the absence of Zelda she was hastily derailed into making what - in our opinion - were disastrous purchasing choices. Indeed, both Happy Feet and Spider-Man: Friend or Foe are poor advocates for the unbridled joys that gaming can offer. And the fact they're 'kids' games is no excuse for poopiness.

So, like Lucy, Michelle opted for the familiarity offered by comfortably recognisable tie-in titles. But to witness an in-the-bank Zelda sale take such a dramatic wrong turn to Turdsville played melancholy chords on our heart and confirmed what we've always known - without guidance a noob will walk out of a game store with a bagful of licensed pap.

22 Jan, 2008


I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.


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