Watch Destiny: The Taken King: The Movie and only pay for the popcorn

Destiny: The Taken King is finally here. Even as you read these words, servers across the globe are having their integrity tested as fans flock back to its world of mini-robots, awkward dancing, and sweet space jetskis.

But if for some reason you don't find yourself among the horde (personal commitments, unsympathetic family, recently exploded internet-cable box), you don't have to wait for the story to be spoiled. Instead, you can take charge of your destiny and watch Destiny: The Taken King: The Movie in the window below. Every cutscene, every plotpoint, everything you need to get up to speed is right here in this 36 minutes of footage. Go forth, and bask in its Nolan North-y glory.