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Trailer Trash

We really scraped the bottom of the barrel to come up with this week’s Trailer Trash. These videos are so terrible that we had to say some bad words, so if you’re easily offended, please move along. There’s nothing to see here…

 

Party Fun Pirate - WiiWare

 

Hold still while I poke you with my dagger, mmmkay? This trailer reminds me of a joke I heard in elementary school about taking a turn “in the barrel.”

The titular “fun pirate” seems to rather enjoy getting prodded through the barrel from various angles, but the real clincher is the option to drop a tied-up a Mii into the glory hole. I simply can not believe that this deviant perversity is rated E. “Comic mischief” my ass.


Above: Careful what you wish for 


Above: Ashton Anchors will piss himself when he sees this 

 

Crime Scene – DS

 

This trailer is definitely a crime scene, and the victim is good taste. “Fine Comb the crime scene to find evidences!” is detective-talk for, “Rub your stylus all over the screen till you hit the right pixel, you idiotic chimp!” To further reinforce that you’ll spend most of the game using your eye or eyes, look for the eye strategically superimposed on the M in the logo. But why put the eye precisely on the letter M? As a tribute to Hitchcock’s Dial M for Murder?

Or possibly an homage to Fritz Lang’s 1931 expressionist/noir masterpiece M?

Or are my detective skills being clouded by my love for geeky film references? More importantly, who cares when you can use a UV light to discover bodily fluids in the carpet?


Above: All evidences point to a rowdy game of Party Fun Pirate 

Next page: Things that aren’t Starbuck, high-brow scrotal humor

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41 comments

  • Cra-Z-Jake - April 23, 2009 10 p.m.

    Paint chips.
  • kubes - April 23, 2009 10:24 p.m.

    nice a lot of trailers to keep me entertainededingment
  • Hobojedi - April 23, 2009 10:59 p.m.

    1 way trip to the glue factory.. I'm sure many people would think that playing the horse breeding game. And combat arms is real :3
  • walrusthewill - April 24, 2009 12:46 a.m.

    As an idea for other weekly features i think it would be really good if you did a weekly post on jacka** things to do during online play you could do a different game every week
  • jonbooey - April 24, 2009 12:54 a.m.

    soo, who is the chick from the main page link for this article? Looks like a Lara Croft knock-off, but with massive...teeth...
  • jonbooey - April 24, 2009 12:55 a.m.

    okay, Lara Croft that fell out of the ugly-tree and into a vat of silicon.
  • gmilf71 - April 24, 2009 3:56 a.m.

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  • gmilf71 - April 24, 2009 3:57 a.m.

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  • iKOemos - April 24, 2009 4:27 a.m.

    @ gmilf71- get over it douche. Great Trailer Trash Joe
  • gmilf71 - April 24, 2009 6:02 a.m.

    lololololololololololololololololol oh my god i cant believe someone hasn't taken down my comment yet. lol so funny.
  • gmilf71 - April 24, 2009 6:07 a.m.

    hey why does everyone put the @ symbol before the person's name they're talking to? doesn't make any sense. (yes i'm well aware that my three angry comments don't make sense either.) still funny to watch everyone's angry replies to my comments. lol.
  • FlashGoron - April 24, 2009 8:52 a.m.

    I had that pirate toy when I was a kid. Now it's a game? A VIDEO GAME!!!
  • Monkey - April 24, 2009 11:23 a.m.

    Seriously - "customize your pony"!!! WTF reCaptcha: Sacks Nastase - sounds nasty.
  • GamesRadarJoeMcNeilly - April 24, 2009 2:02 p.m.

    Yes, all the animal games are the same company: Discovery Kids. If you really love their stuff, here's Dolphin Discovery (moar alliteration argh!): http://www.gamesradar.com/ds/dolphin-discovery/g-2009021717214554067
  • Romination - April 24, 2009 2:44 p.m.

    @joe that is an adorable monkey in your photo picture. Dial M for Murder was always such a confusing movie. How on earth could anyone want to kill Grace Kelly!? Hmm?! Hmmmmmm!? I really regret not checking this feature out the first run that it had. Glad it's back
  • samsterman2 - April 24, 2009 5:41 p.m.

    all of those poor 'ikle aminals crammed in to such a crappy handheld!!!! brings a tear to your eye :[
  • potpan0 - April 24, 2009 6:44 p.m.

    It seems that these animal games are so bad they need to use footage of real animals to make it seem more interesting
  • Awesomeitude1523 - April 24, 2009 7:31 p.m.

    @ gmilf71 it's to indicate who they're talking to. @gmilf71 again I just read your innecessantly long stream of 'f*ck you"s. Well don sir, you truly are a douche. Nice article, like the comment about alliteration.
  • GRwarrior - April 24, 2009 8:17 p.m.

    did anyone notice big daddy at the end of armoured princess?

Showing 1-20 of 41 comments

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