Tournament of level one enemies

Why the Goomba should win: Goombas are masters of the horizontal fighting style. They move effortlessly in either direction (usually towards a Mario). Any slime that gets in the way will be flattened into a blue pancake and left shamefully defeated to eventually be devoured by roadkill-loving animals or rednecks.

Why the slime should win: A bubbly, bouncing ball of blue goo! Err… what was the question?

Verdict: For the final we decided to host an actual battle to decide once and for all, who is less of a defenseless, lily-livered, brittle little baby. An hour before the final battle was to take place (in space), the two fighters were resting, making peace with their lives and attempting to fashion astronaut suits from the materials found in their hotel rooms. Neither tiny warrior was seen leaving their room. When the attendants arrived to tell them it was time to enter their spaceships, this is what they found:

A note was found next to the slime's melted body:

And this is a photograph of what was found in the Goomba's room:

Oct 21, 2008


  • ObsessionWithEdgeworth - March 22, 2010 9:21 p.m.

    ... BIDOOF LOST! ... Serves it right. It isn't even that cute. Too bad this was level one enemies and not easily defeated/very weak enemies, if it was, you could probably have put magikarp, because atleast bidoof can attack (and damage you), which is better than magikarp. ...for non pokemon lovers, heres a demonstration: (magikarp = level 10, torterra = level 69) (im giving the magikarp a chance and letting it go first for a change) Magikarp used Splash! It had no effect. Torterra used Magical Leaf! It's very effective! Magikarp fainted! Torterra earned 1 Experience point! Torterra Wins! '¬'
  • xeropanzer - October 24, 2008 6:11 p.m.

    thats pretty funny although i think it should have been flood and slime in the last battle but then i guess there would need to be plasma burns from master chiefs gun instead of the item box.
  • RadarQJD - October 22, 2008 9:21 p.m.

    Goomba is victorious...Technically.......!!!
  • georgeg1994 - October 22, 2008 5:50 p.m.

    actually the green note is your greates enemy, ever tried the through the fire and flames intro?? takes aages to get right, also yes you can hit a g-o chord with 3 fingers, even 2, and alas the goomba totally should have won. GREAT ARTICLE
  • GamesRadarChrisAntista - October 22, 2008 4:18 p.m.

    Paul Ryan, you're my hero!
  • ELpork - October 22, 2008 4:29 a.m.

    Yea, the last page was... Umm, great.
  • Ravenbom - October 22, 2008 2:10 a.m.

    Well, my money was on the green button. That's the second time I've lost my yet to be conceived first born child! I think the green button took a dive, I mean really, it's the only one in the competition that is still a legitimate challenge in later levels. In fact, green button is the one button that makes orange button a challenge.
  • pinoklin - October 22, 2008 12:49 a.m.

    lol u missed the wookies of stwtfu
  • Ninja-KiLLR - October 22, 2008 12:09 a.m.

    im suprised there was no nazis. but yeah this was very funny
  • creamsoda139 - October 21, 2008 10:44 p.m.

    haha, this article is an epic win!
  • gamit12345 - October 21, 2008 10:34 p.m.

  • thereaper52 - October 21, 2008 10:19 p.m.

    poor slime i loved him like a brother
  • gorillazbmx6 - October 21, 2008 10:15 p.m.

    you should have had the kick pedal note. No one over the age of 20 can hit it, it is a mystical thing
  • Face0324 - October 21, 2008 10:13 p.m.

    I cant beleive I read this whole article what the hell happened
  • NelosAngelos - October 21, 2008 10:07 p.m.

    I didn't know you could hang a mushroom...
  • Amatarasu - October 21, 2008 10:02 p.m.

    hmmm *note to self* watch out for mushroom kingdom men
  • key0blade - October 21, 2008 9:52 p.m.

    Loved it.
  • KillDrone - October 21, 2008 9:11 p.m.

    Lol who did that last picture?! O.o Creepy...
  • cog114 - October 21, 2008 9:05 p.m.

    It seems there was a third unlikely character in the final round: MARIO!!!!
  • hun23 - October 21, 2008 7:49 p.m.

    another funny tournament

Showing 1-20 of 60 comments

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