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The Top 7… Worst videogame presidents

2. President Huffman

From: Destroy All Humans!

As leaders go, President Huffman is barely fit to drive a bus. Cruel, buffoonish and insanely corrupt even before Destroy All Humans! begins, he’s little more than a shill for a shadowy, anti-alien organization known as Majestic, the ultimate plans of which involve world domination. And yet even with all their help, he stupidly ignores and covers up the actions of DAH’s invading alien "hero," Crypto, until it’s far too late.

After burning a laser-etched swath across America, Crypto’s bid to destroy the American Dream culminates in Huffman’s assassination on the steps of the Capitol Building. Then, just when it seems the U.S. has been brought to its knees before the unstoppable might of one… lone… invader (you know, the kind you've effortlessly killed scores of in, oh, every other game), we find out that Majestic has one last surprise up its sleeve: Huffman’s brain was preserved, and put in control of the colossal RoboPrez.

Above: Wave hello to your robot messiah, America!

Too bad for Majestic, the secret society learned too late what any gamer could have told them: if you’re going to build a giant robot, you don’t stick a flabby, middle-aged, corrupt public servant behind the controls. RoboPrez was defeated in short order, and Huffman went down in history as the first world leader who was totally unable to stop a single tiny alien from completely subjugating his country even after having his brain stuffed into a giant robot.

Or he would have, if Crypto hadn’t stolen his identity, become president in his place and herded his new constituents into DNA-harvesting machines.

Above: Still a more competent option, all things considered


1. President Max

From: Sam & Max Save the World

Where the rest of the presidents on this list are incompetent, conniving or just plain ineffectual, Max the hyperkinetic rabbity thing is an outright sociopath, and he makes no attempt to hide this. Also, where other presidents tend to be semi-inaccessible, mostly behind-the-scenes figures, Max is one of the two heroes of his series, and that doesn’t change after he gets elected.

Max became president just four episodes into the first Sam & Max “season,” when he and his anthropomorphic-dog partner Sam were summoned to the White House to look into the incumbent president’s erratic behavior. This included (among other things) federally mandated group hugs before, during and after all major sporting events, and failing to understand unaccented English. Unsurprisingly, the guy turned out to be a robot made to hypnotize Americans during televised speeches.

Above: GEE I WONDER WHICH PRESIDENT THIS GUY IS BASED ON

This revelation (which came after the president was accidentally decapitated) prompted an emergency election between a towering robot Abraham Lincoln and the nearest available contender, which turned out to be Max. Representing the Random Violence and Destruction Party, Max won an underhanded victory by tampering with Lincoln’s cue cards.

He subsequently attempted to solve all national problems by building an army of giant battle robots, and then almost single-handedly destroyed the Internet. God help us all.

38 comments

  • michael-undercoffer - February 17, 2014 3:53 p.m.

    Kind of disappointed President ShinRa wasn't on this list...
  • fattoler - February 22, 2012 7:34 a.m.

    What about the President from Apocalypse (Starring Bruce Willis!) who turned out to be, you know, THE DEVIL.
  • festerblatz82 - February 22, 2012 5:50 a.m.

    I hope we get to hear this discussed on T-Dar.
  • Fox_Mulder - February 22, 2012 12:59 a.m.

    LOL @ the president from Vanquish. I didn't remember that she committed suicide, much less the plot of the game. Shows you how memorable the story was! And as shitty of a prez as Johnson was, he did get one thing right: Democracy IS just filler for the history books.
  • DualWieldingIsNotFeasible - February 21, 2012 10:35 p.m.

    Everyone knows that it takes more than a giant robot suit to be a truly great videogame president. You need a giant robot suit AND know how to PARTYYYYYYY!!!
  • Gabezilla84 - February 21, 2012 10:15 p.m.

    Great article, I love your writing, Mikel! How about the President of the United Earth from Disruptor on PS1, who ends up being the main villain in a shocking plot twist (!) and places the main character into a trippy, psionic induced nightmare?
  • Ulukai - February 22, 2012 8:59 a.m.

    Bonus points for mentioning Disruptor! Best.Cutscenes.Ever. LOL
  • Pruman - February 21, 2012 3:19 p.m.

    Thanks for making me want to play Vanquish again, even though I beat it twice already. Hillary Clinton was quite evil in that game, although having her in it was worth it just to hear the Burns tell Sam that she thought of the war as an "economic stimulus package!"
  • josh-horvath - February 21, 2012 2:51 p.m.

    what about the president from sonic? he literally does fuck all
  • needles - February 21, 2012 1:05 p.m.

    Vote Deez nuts for president 2012.
  • codystovall - February 21, 2012 9:34 a.m.

    Destroy all humans on 3ds would be coolz. My great ideas fall on deaf ears though.
  • comaqi - February 20, 2012 7:37 p.m.

    Good job giving the love to Sam&Max!
  • rballa2 - February 20, 2012 7:07 p.m.

    Mikel, is TalkRadar coming back?
  • psycho ninja 4 - February 21, 2012 12:24 a.m.

    Gilbert wrote that its still going on another feature and that its been postponed while they figure something out.
  • talleyXIV - February 20, 2012 3:40 p.m.

    President Ronnie from the NES version is like fading into the background. Reptile Bush!
  • Datadog - February 20, 2012 3:18 p.m.

    The section on President Max is very incomplete. Giant battle robots and destroying the internet was just the beginning of his reign of terror for the next two seasons of the series. His presence in the final episode of Season 3 alone earns him the top spot on this list.
  • ShowMeYourKitties - February 20, 2012 3:13 p.m.

    I like how the #5 has become GR's go to joke entry
  • TheDCSniper - February 20, 2012 2:39 p.m.

    They're all better than that Kenyan socialist, Barack Obama. All he wants to do is tax the job creators
  • needles - February 20, 2012 2:52 p.m.

    I'm not a particular fan of Obama but read this: screw you faggot.
  • kyle94 - February 20, 2012 5:24 p.m.

    With a name like "TheDCSniper", don't bother. It's a troll.

Showing 1-20 of 38 comments

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