5. President Benford
The Resident Evil series kind of has horrible luck when it comes to presidents. First, it saw the administration of President Graham. Graham fathered one of the most
irritating female characters in videogame history, Ashley Graham, whose
annoyingly chirpy voice was rivaled only by her near-total lack of a self-preservation
instinct. That, and the fact that he sent a valuable government superagent to probably get decapitated like a billion times in an attempt to rescue her, should really have been enough to land
him on this list.
no – his successor, Adam Benford, is even worse. Why? Because Benford is a zombie.
And zombies make terrible presidents.
at him. Look at that stupid zombie face. Is that a face that can put the economy
back on track? Bring peace to the Middle East? Do something to stem the massive
global tide of job losses in the wake of the Umbrella Corporation’s collapse?
No! That is a face that slashes vital social programs, vetoes defense spending bills
and writes legislation mandating that all hospitals build “presidential brain
libraries,” describing them only as “tasty” (and also “itchy,” for some
mind whatever his record was prior to zombification – we’re highly doubtful
that a terrifying walking corpse can convince the nation that it’s in good
hands during State of the Union addresses. Honestly, we’d be surprised if he
even gets a second term.
4. President Johnson
From: Metal Gear
Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
yeah, we know – whenever anyone
thinks “Metal Gear” and “president,” they think of George “Solidus Snake” Sears,
who’s showed up on so many of these videogame-president lists that he’s become a
huge cliché. Despite being the villain of MGS2, however, Sears’ goals of
destroying America’s shadow government – the Patriots – and restoring democracy
made him something of an awesome president.
Besides, he shared MGS2 with a president who was such an unremarkable shitbird
that most gamers barely remember he existed.
James Johnson, Solidus’ successor, was a cynical ladder-climber who not only
knew that he was nothing but the Patriots’ pawn – he openly embraced it, freely
admitting that “his” policies came from them, and that elections were nothing
more than elaborate performances staged for the public’s benefit. However, none
of that stopped him from rebelling against them with Solidus’ terrorist group –
although while Solidus was working for higher ideals, Johnson played along in
the hopes that he could blackmail the Patriots into granting him more personal
he eventually has a change of heart and willingly sacrifices himself to avert a
nuclear holocaust, but one good deed doesn’t erase a lifetime of knowingly knuckling
under to a shadow government because you think being leader of the free world
is a sham. Especially not when you do it after inexplicably cupping Raiden’s
3. Presidente Reyes
From: Red Dead
says the U.S. gets to have a monopoly on shitty videogame presidents? Mexico –
or at least the version of Mexico we visited in Red Dead Redemption – boasts
one of the all-time shittiest, and the best part is that we helped put him in power.
first the larger-than-life leader of RDR’s Mexican revolution, Reyes quickly
reveals himself to be little more than an adventuresome fraud, using social
reform as a pretext for his own self-aggrandizement. His main ambitions
include personal glory and banging as many peasant women as possible. Oh, and,
uh, bringing democracy to Mexico, sure.
the military dictatorship Reyes fought against was legitimately brutal and
despotic, and Reyes’ intentions seem good enough at first – it’s just that he
tends to forget what they are. He never intentionally sets out to harm the
people who follow him like a messiah, but it also never occurs to him that they
might be anything other than a stepping stone on his way to the presidency.
Whatever his intentions, though, the end of RDR reveals that his administration
is just as despotic and out-of-touch as the one he replaces – and that’s not
even the worst of it.
revealed in (the possibly non-canon) Undead Nightmare, Reyes’ vanity leads him
to unearth an ancient Aztec mask and put it on. This action not only unleashes
a plague of zombies throughout the neighboring territories, but turns Reyes
into one as well. And as we all know from President Graham’s entry above,
zombies make terrible presidents. We can only imagine how horrifying they’d be
with dictatorial powers.
Above: Would you buy a used car from this man?