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Top 7... Cutesy Characters We Want to Beat the Crap Out of

4. Larry Butz, Phoenix Wright series / DS - (AKA “Phoenix Wright’s Dumb Friend,” “Dude with the Hearts in His Eyes,” or “Closet Homosexual”)

Why:
Because we don’t like his face. If that’s not a good enough reason to mull over mauling him with a weed whacker, then we don’t know why you’re reading this article.

Seriously, is that goatee supposed to make him look cool? Somebody please wipe that crooked grin off his face and convince him to stop winking. Even the Judge in Trials & Tribulations can’t stand to look at him:
“…just looking at his picture makes the bile start to rise in my throat.”

But what we really loathe Larry Butz is for dragging down Phoenix Wright’s image. His smug smiling and simpering fanboy-isms border on psycho; and it sickens us to think that our favorite all-star attorney could ever associate with such a large loser as Larry Butz, even if they were only children when the awful associate began.

Oh, and his name sucks, too.

How we’d do it:
Two black eyes and some missing teeth ought to take down his “cute guy” appeal a few pegs. Might not be a bad idea break his kneecaps, either. Then we’ll find out where he lives and burn his house down.

Topics

Top 7

25 comments

  • brandon-dees - April 14, 2013 12:50 a.m.

    fuck you tails is cool
  • EwoksTasteLikeChicken - December 3, 2010 11:47 p.m.

    Ha Ha Tails needs to fight 1v1 with Kratos. I would pay good money to see that.
  • Chaoscoolperson - October 30, 2010 3:58 a.m.

    Everything besides Pikachu although I understand why you don't like him. (P.S. Why hasn't Ash ever caught a legendary, even though he has seen all of them. This makes Ash a questionable trainer and means it's not pikachu's fault.)
  • sleepy92ismypsn - October 29, 2010 1:13 a.m.

    Haha, nice art Tyler. Nice face Chris.
  • ObsessionWithEdgeworth - February 28, 2010 2:14 a.m.

    OMG HAHA Larry Butz! He gets sooo annoying. ... Just a second... why is he on here? Isnt this called Top 7 CUTESY characters ect. ect. Since when has a goatee made someone look cute? And you cant burn down his house, he lives with his mom still.
  • FanofSaiyan - December 5, 2009 2:07 a.m.

    The ultimate culmination of eye-poppingly cute and sadistic mayhem you'll ever find in this website.
  • rangermaster240 - November 9, 2009 4:09 a.m.

    Why is it that i have ALWAYS wanted to just make a zelda game with microphone ability and just yell at navi, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! I KNOW THAT THE CLOUD OVER DEATH MOUNTAIN IS WEIRD!!!! JUST DIE!!!!"
  • ryno - November 22, 2008 3:27 a.m.

    your forgeting Issun from Okami. id feed him to my lizards or stick him in a microwave and turn it on
  • ryno - November 22, 2008 3:18 a.m.

    i want Navi's blood. er i mean ectoplasm or whatever shes got.
  • Super_gamer73 - November 13, 2008 3:54 a.m.

    Navi is the most annoying. I like the suggestion for Navi removal.
  • Cwf2008 - December 8, 2008 1:06 a.m.

    Hmm well i guess the Tinkerbell comparison keeps gamesradar from going too ballistic on Navi, but what i'd do is stick a grenade in wherever Navi talks from, tie it to a missle, set it on fire, and then fire it off a cliif.
  • cricket0 - September 22, 2008 2:46 a.m.

    Those characters are kinda nessecary, but as the article says, extremly annoying!
  • Coolbeans69 - August 31, 2008 8:08 p.m.

    lol! Funniest feature yet!
  • evileasterbunny666 - September 9, 2009 12:51 a.m.

    yes yes...... eat that navi REAL good. Look! That frog's tounge getting closer!!!
  • MassEffectfan - September 8, 2009 10:48 p.m.

    all i have to say is damn
  • MoonPig - September 8, 2009 6:37 p.m.

    first, id remove Butz's toinails 1 by 1 with a pair of pliers, then id stick needles in the soft flesh underneath, then id hook them up to a car battery and light his eyelashes on fire and THEN id get NASTY! also, make Navi die please
  • melloe - April 28, 2009 8:30 a.m.

    HAHA I love Pikachu's cheap-ass lightning attacks in Super Smash Bros
  • Bov11 - April 5, 2009 1:05 a.m.

    whatserface from King Kong.
  • UsernameAlreadyInUse - April 3, 2009 12:45 a.m.

    HEY!!!! oh wait you already knew what i was going to say because ive said it 100,000,000,000,000,000,000... times? Oh ill stop....HEY!!! Oh ya...HEYEHEYEHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY......BOOM HEADSHOT!! What i have always thot the WHOLE TIME
  • pjbuhl - February 7, 2009 10:35 p.m.

    what about the begger lady from assasin's creed she always messes up my missions =/

Showing 1-20 of 25 comments

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