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Top 20 console features no-one uses

Motion Sensing
OK, so virtually all Wii games use the Wii-mote for gesture-based gaming. Sure. But where's the 1:1 movement? Where's the real sword fighting? We don't want a scripted animation resulting from a basic action – we want full 3D control. The closest we've seen yet is spiking fish in Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz with its into-the-screen spiking action, and twirling the baseball bat behind our heads as we wait for the pitch in Wii Sports. We don't like being teased.

Wii memory card slot
At launch, we bought a 2.0GB memory card to use in our Wii. But it's been redundant since that time. OK, so putting a digital camera card into it is fun cos you can make your dog wear glasses with the fun editing stuff, but that's about it. You can't even store Virtual Console games and then run them from it - just move them there when you inevitably run out of local storage space and then copy them back across when you want to play them. Rubbish.

Skype on PSP
PSP Slim & Lite has got Skype on it. Great. The only person we know who we would actually want to talk to over Skype has only got the old model PSP that doesn't do it. D'oh! And you need a headset if you want to talk… so hardly 'free'.

Voice recognition (DS) – Brain Training, Nintendogs
DS can recognise your voice. Very well. Dr Kawashima has been listening carefully as we shout colours at him, and he usually understand what you're saying (it's yellow not 'yeller'). And our Nintendogs… OMG when did we last feed them?! Aaaargh! *Pause* Well, when they were still with us (sniff), they learned to chase their tails on demand. So why don't more games use voice recognition? Imagine commanding your Pokemon just by telling them what to do. "Pikachu! Use Thunderbolt!" What do we get instead? We get to blow on the mic. Again.


Above: Two cute dogs admire a pink DS. Anything to avoid looking at muto-mutt.

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28 comments

  • sourpunch - January 10, 2011 6:35 a.m.

    Just stumbled on this article again and had another good laugh. The 1080p thing is no longer relevant though since 1080p tvs arent that expensive anymore and most games do use it.
  • Arch27 - October 9, 2009 5:59 p.m.

    I'd use DVD to PSP if I could figure it out.
  • soniquev8 - September 15, 2008 6 p.m.

    I'd have to disagree. I use the 360's media/music sharing feature all the time (ironically, shared from my Mac using Connect360). I use it when I'm playing games with sub-par or repetitive music (Civ Revolution) or when I feel like making up my own soundtrack. It's great that I can instantly turn Ace Combat into Top Gun by playing "Danger Zone" in the background; or listen to "War Pigs" while playing Worms in the Arcade. And while I love the radio stations on GTA4, the music in Katamari, and other games with inventive soundtracks... after dozens of hours of play, they just can't offer as much diversity as my gigabytes of MP3s. I agree with you in that the photo and video functionality aren't frequently used, but I can say that even if it's just listening to some tunes while cleaning up my apartment, the music/media sharing functionality is perhaps the most oft-used feature on my 360.
  • likedamaster - September 13, 2008 4:55 p.m.

    Wow. Your website comes with fresh shtuff all the time. The best gaming website I know! All is true, all 20!
  • Nintendophile - September 12, 2008 1:51 p.m.

    The Voice-Command-Pokemon-Control idea is good. Nintendo; Make it so.
  • josephpooch - November 16, 2008 3:32 a.m.

    um. the nintendo ds thumb strap was a great idea. if it was made alittle better it would be have been...good. I used it for metroid and it was cool..but it wasnt very accurate like stated in the article. If it had been improved on for the ds lite, instead of being omitted, it would have probably been alot better. and playing ps1 games on a ps2. that was daily for me due to ff7 and ff8. i guess that could be strange or something. but i found myself playing ps1 on ps2 wayyy more than playing ps2 on ps2. haha
  • lynx987 - September 11, 2008 2:15 a.m.

    wow this is cool
  • GalenMarek - July 20, 2009 4:47 p.m.

    Actually everyone who has a Wii pretty much uses a memory card so yeah!
  • jamboy199three - June 11, 2009 5:30 p.m.

    hell the only thing i dont use my ps3 4 is playinggames
  • MalXenos - May 17, 2009 4:52 a.m.

    Hmm. i play PSOne games on both my PS2 and PS3... Well not so much the PS2 as much (cept my PS3 blu-ray stopped working; waiitng on UPS to ship it back now.) But the the past 3 weeks I have!!! I still own like i dunno 15 or so PS1 games.
  • Jpeg - May 13, 2009 4:16 p.m.

    That thing on the DS was a thumb strap?! i never would have imagined that was what it was for
  • killemall - March 26, 2009 5 p.m.

    I also agree with josephpooch and soniquev8. After about 10 hours of playing fallout and realising the music and radio was getting annoying i actually used the 360's media share to make my own 23's 30's apocolypse mix. Also i still bust out the old ps2 and play games on it including FF7, 8 and rival schools. One of the best features evere. When i can afford a ps3, i'll do it then too.
  • GrrSnort - March 1, 2009 5:11 a.m.

    I'm going to have to argue for the media sharing. I cleaned up the space on my 360 hard drive that I used for music (apparently, I had around 5 gigs of music), and I rip movies to my PC, so I can watch them without popping in a disc. I will concede that photo capability (and the photo party app for the 360 that NOBODY USES) is largely re-fuckin-tarded.
  • gta3mattb - February 28, 2009 8:51 p.m.

    "PSone games on PS2 Strange, this – we hardly ever used our PS2 to play PSone games. And yet we find ourselves doing it on PS3 and PSP rather frequently. Very, very strange." That is the only one that probably should not have been on this list.
  • crossmr - February 28, 2009 1:15 p.m.

    I've used DVD to PSP a lot. Plus its obvious you've never been on a subway in other parts of the world. 7 hour flight with no in flight entertainment? or some butchered and edited movie? Watch 2 or 3 movies on your PSP. The batteries last much longer watching movies than playing games. It was great on a 14 hour flight I took last year. Probably 90% of the people I see on the Seoul subway are watching TV on their phone or watching pre-recorded movies and TV on a portable device, about 1/3 of which are PSPs.
  • Oxfordcomma4 - February 28, 2009 3:15 a.m.

    I too love the media feature on the 360. There's nothing like a good Silent Hill binge listening to somthing hopeful and cheery (Jason Mraz, Vampire Weekend) or a little horde with Trace Adkins in the background. Also, Fallout 3 to Louie Armstrong is just fun...
  • adrenaguy - February 27, 2009 10:42 p.m.

    i thought the thumb strap ws a wrist strap, it didnt fit, so i gave up, still haven't used it as a thumb strap yet even though i know full-well what it does. don't forget that wii internet channel was immediately obselete, too, due to lack of support for flash.
  • hardcore_gamer1990 - February 20, 2009 10:36 p.m.

    I agree with josephpooch and (partially) soniquev8. not the thumbstrap thing though. pointless as a Zero Punctuation review with no sound. I played PSone games on my PS2 (and PS2 AND PSone games on my PS3) repeatedly, just for nostalgia. And on soniquev8's point on adding extra soundtracks to games, have you tried outrunning Templars as Altair whilst the Benny Hill theme is playing? I nearly collapsed laughing when my mate did that the first time. xD
  • crimson_soulreaper305 - June 16, 2009 1:08 a.m.

    i use media share. its funny, im playing halo 3 to the shin chan theme song. it was handy in gta 4 after you hear "top down" for bajillionth time you get bored so i listen to the paper trail album(T.I)/ other songs to make it fun.
  • sourpunch - June 11, 2009 9:40 a.m.

    "OMG when did we last feed them?" Lol I haven't touched that game in forever either.

Showing 1-20 of 28 comments

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