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Today's worst multiplayer experiences

Shadowrun

After a bit of training, we joined a match with relative ease, though there were only eight matches total on Xbox Live at the time. And it’s no wonder why: the game just isn’t very fun, and without a thriving community, it’s just a wraith, a faint trail of game design potential wafting through digital corridors.


Above: Yeah, so, apparently we accidentally team killed someone. It isn’t our fault the game is dumb

One of our teammates actually commented over his mic, “They should make some DLC for this game,” and was bombarded with “What are you talking about…this game is ancient!” and “This game sucks.” We suppose the disheartened players were only online because they haven’t made any game purchases since mid 2007.

The game is technically OK, it’s just not inspiring enough to be worth playing over, say, any game in the Call of Duty, Halo, or Left 4 Dead series. It seems to take a stream of bullets the length of the Wall of China to take anyone down, it’s not clear who’s on which team, and the magic and tech powers crowd the experience more than they support it.

Number of times we’d like to teleport away from this game: Teleportation isn’t actually possible. Come on now.


Ace Combat 6

There was one other guy playing. He gleefully gift wrapped our asses and handed them to us multiple times, and then kicked us out of his lobby every time we tried to rejoin. AC6 is a great game, and there’s nothing wrong with the multiplayer, but it’s just as barren as the rest. If you’re an enthusiast and don’t mind the fact that 1-on-1 is the best you’ll do, unless you have a gang of also enthused friends, then go for it.

We’re apparently so bad at the game, the only other person playing would rather wait around for another challenger than shoot us down again. Burn.


Above: We saw a lot of this 

Our experience, rated on a scale of one to embarrassing: Eleven.

48 comments

  • HankVenture - November 17, 2010 2:13 a.m.

    I'm .. super late, but I just found this while searching around and no one will probably ever read this but I gotta say, I love Shadowrun me and my Xbox friends met on this game and we still play it from time to time just for the fun of it all. That is my opinion I can understand why people don't like it and it really does have no community, I've played the same exact teams over and over again before on different days, but it is still a great experience I think I mean hell I use to fall asleep playing this game into the day
  • epenn03 - February 2, 2010 2:33 p.m.

    Army of Two as well had a bad multiplayer
  • DARK_SIDE - January 3, 2010 4:03 p.m.

    Ha ha ha, funny stuff I liked the no one here thing and stupid character and "gleefully giftwraping our asses" also the alchol poisioning.
  • QWERTYCommander - December 20, 2009 11:16 p.m.

    Where's the DiRT series?
  • Ironarm - December 20, 2009 9:46 p.m.

    Say what you will, but the multiplayer for Kane and Lynch was surprisingly fun when I played it last. Granted I played it about a year ago but I still remember having a heck of a good time.
  • DoctorProfessor - December 18, 2009 1:50 p.m.

    Re:AuthorityFigure If you don't want to spend money it's called a private server and it's free
  • IIIIIACEIIIII - December 17, 2009 1:35 p.m.

    Conkers bad fur day reloaded: people still play it.
  • xXxbigshotxXx - December 16, 2009 3:37 a.m.

    frontlines shouldnt be added to this list it should b added to laggiest multiplayer and so should battle field bad company but both are still fun when theres that split second there not laggy =p
  • TheWebSwinger - December 14, 2009 11:07 p.m.

    This article is friggin' hilarious. Though, Tyler, your picture kind of makes you look insane. @GameManiac: Why in the world do you think Multiplayer will die off? If anything, the only thing this article suggests is that multiplayer will become conglomerated into the Halos and CoDs.
  • vitoruss - December 14, 2009 10:55 p.m.

    I remember being surprised recently by the number of people playing Splinter Cell: Double Agent online. Well, it wasn't THAT recently, it was probably half a year ago, but nonetheless I expected that game to be deader than dead. How is GTA4 doing? It's been a while since I gave that multiplayer a whirl.
  • Tfish - December 14, 2009 7:01 p.m.

    Re:AuthorityFigure How is world of warcraft a temporary fad game? They just celebrated the 5 year anniversary of that game a week ago and it has 11 million paying subscribers right now. The warcraft franchise itself is 15 years old now. I'm sure 5 years from now world of warcraft may not be as populated as it is now, but it is in no way a temporary fad game.
  • AuthorityFigure - December 14, 2009 9:26 a.m.

    Re-write this article in 5 years and you'll be adding World of Warcraft. I'm glad *I'm*not shelling out money to play temporary fad games.
  • Smeggs - December 14, 2009 4:32 a.m.

    I remember when I rented Dark Sector... Probably about two or three weeks after its release. After I beat the campaign I decided to hop into some multiplayer, expecting things like everyone having a Glaive but they just can't control its trajectory like in the campaing. I get into a game and it is already critically laggy, I'm popping around the map and freezing in place, people are shooting at each other with no affect. And finally right when I realized they had no Glaive in the multiplayer at all I just left right there.
  • Cwf2008 - December 14, 2009 3:16 a.m.

    Since you mentioned ace combat 6, i thought HAWX should get an honorable mention. Even though it is populated it takes a while to find a match now
  • CountFenring - December 14, 2009 1:23 a.m.

    I might go back and play some FC2 soon, certain modes of that great, but I forgot about it a while ago. I felt the mp had style I don't find in many games.
  • demonslayer76 - December 13, 2009 3:09 p.m.

    is anyone still playing conduit? i haven't played it in a while cause the Wii sucks online also, I sucked at it
  • Bryce2552 - December 12, 2009 9:21 p.m.

    i think NFS undercover should be on here. never seen anyone in that game. recaptcha- 14-week seamen
  • linkganon - December 12, 2009 4:47 p.m.

    one thing i have to add, although you can connect most of the time, the wii's multiplayer gaming lags when you are connected. took me 5 to 10 minutes to finish a game that only had a counter at 2 minutes.
  • joabbuac - December 12, 2009 4:21 p.m.

    Dark Sector had fun multiplayer
  • ELpork - December 12, 2009 11:34 a.m.

    Liking the Neck beard on your Rainbow six guy.

Showing 1-20 of 48 comments

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