THE RACE FOR ENLIGHTENMENT
From: Doctor Who, “Enlightenment"
Location: The Solar System
More of transport: Space ships. Literally. Galleons, frigates, tea clippers and other historical sea-faring ships that float through space.
Racers: Bored Eternals who like fancy dress
Winner: The Edwardian Eternals in the Buccaneer
Racing form: Using planets for marker buoys like jumpers for goalposts, the Eternals steer their stately way through the solar system in the race for Enlightenment. The fact that they don’t really know what Enlightenment is doesn’t really matter. They're just killing time really. Stupidest Eternal is Wrack, ’cos she’s a dirty rotten cheat who chooses to be a pirate – which is kinda like having a big neon sign on your spinnaker saying “Bwah-hah-hah!”
Go to the next race