The WTF World of Wikipedia

Jeffrey Dahmer was a cannibal, Charles Manson was a deranged cult leader and John Wayne Gacy, worst of all, dressed up like a friggin' clown. Yet the complete list of these horrible, horrible murderers - together with dozens of depraved others - is apparently about 3,000 words less significant than the list of Maverick boss characters in the Mega Man X series.

And that's compared to the list of serial killers by country. Look up the list of serial killers by number of victims and the difference grows to 6,000. Go ahead and add the two lists together if you want - at 8,000 words total, they still fall short of the sheer terror and infamy inspired by Cyber Peacock, Blizzard Buffalo, Overdrive Ostrich and Armored Armadillo. Ooh, we're getting chills just thinking about them!

Above: The true face of evil

Let's be honest. Who doesn't love Gardulla the Hut? Who didn't have a poster of Cole Fardreamer or Elan Sleazebaggano hanging on their bedroom wall as a kid? Who wouldn't beg their parents to buy them that Klaatu action figure for the holidays?

Qwi Xux, Plo Koon, 2-1B, Chief Chirpa, Yarna D'al Gargan, Baron Soontir Fel, Meewalh, Oola, Commander Cody, Baron Soontir Fel, Trask Ulgo, Gartogg, Wam "Blam" Lufba and, of course, little Windy... all of them are forever entwined in our dreams and imaginations.

Clearly, the list of minor characters in the Star Wars universe should be seven times as large as the page on the Founding Fathers of the United States. Clearly.

Also more important than the Founding Fathers!

• Minor Star Wars droids = 10,105
• Minor Star Wars villains = 9,648
• Minor Star Wars bounty hunters = 5,236
• Minor Sonic the Hedgehog characters = 12,595
• Minor Mortal Kombat characters = 6,286
• Minor StarCraft characters = 5,640
• Minor One Piece characters = 17,446
• Minor Sailor Moon characters = 7,251
• Minor Gundam Wing mobile suits = 3,584
• Minor recurring characters in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine = 5,097

Heed our warning - Wikipedia is only the beginning. Soon, textbooks will have entire chapters devoted to fairies and fishmen. Language students will learn Goron instead of Greek. History class will forgo the Romans for the Rito, while anthropology discards the Spanish and Swedish for the Subrosians and Skull Kids.

Nonsense, you say? Tell that to the 730 million residents of Europe, whose deep and diverse ethnic backgrounds just got pwned by a bunch of elves, gnomes, talking twigs, golden frogs and mutant chickens.
Oh yeah, and Tingle.

Also more important than the population of Europe!

• Elder Scroll races = 8,489
• Pokemon types = 4,362
• Final Fantasy monsters = 6,637
• Halo aliens = 5,478
• Middle-earth orcs = 4,845
• Fictional cats = 10,248
• Fictional dragons = 8,651
(there are non-fictional dragons?)


  • INFINITYGAUNTLET - July 28, 2010 7:19 p.m.

    Metal Gear is obviously more integral to the universe than War & Peace. Also, Jesus has a mean corner kick.
  • Plaim - July 26, 2010 3:05 p.m.

    Oh god, not Trask Ulgo. WHY COULDN'T I SAVE HIM?!
  • dbleja - July 23, 2010 6:44 a.m.

    Hilarious article - I laughed a lot while reading it. But I wonder if one of the reasons these nerdy/obscure topics have higher word counts is because there are fewer people actively cleaning up and 'policing' the page. I imagine that on a page like "God", there are many theologians, historians and professors who regularly summarise, reorganise and consolidate the content that people have written, as well as delete blocks of text they deem biased or otherwise unprofessional. This probably happens less on the "Knuckles" page, so gushing fans have more freedom to go overboard.
  • VaneTrago - July 22, 2010 7:05 a.m.

    Amy Winehouse coming in second on that list of rock artists should in and of itself show the sad state of affairs that is Wikipedia.
  • waffledragon33 - July 21, 2010 9:54 p.m.

    go knuckles
  • EPICish8 - July 21, 2010 9:53 p.m.

    Anyone notest that they said EGM had more words then them by alot
  • Kefsquall - September 11, 2008 2:46 a.m.

    Great feature GamesRadar, thumbs up. Nobuo Uematsu beating all of those rock legends is a such a cool thing...
  • Da-Ku - September 1, 2008 8:32 a.m.

    Go Final Fantasy Music!
  • Mattgue - May 29, 2009 11:07 p.m.

    This is the best article ever but really how did Kirby beat hte dog and how in this world did final fantasy albums beat ROCK AND ROLL
  • killemall - February 19, 2009 9:06 p.m.

    I think that was the best article i've read to date... But its true, scholars and experts don't have the time to go through wikipedia and edit articles that should be taught in school anyway, and find a list of sources that some geek isn't going to just contest anyway. It's mostly good information but sometimes their mods are dickholes even to the experts... i want wikipedia to work as a concept... but its waaay too much work even for me(i'm an admin asst. and therefore have more free time at work) so hey, why not? i've been looking at knuckles page all day i haven't even thought about the god page...
  • Marasmusine1 - January 8, 2009 5:18 p.m.

    You combined the word count of all the CoD articles, and compared them with the single, introductory article on WWII? Didn't you look at the articles, or just hit "word count"? The WWII topic is covered by hundreds and hundreds of Wikipedia articles... The WWII word count must dwarf that of CoD. D- must try harder.

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