The WTF World of Wikipedia

15 unbelievable "truths" written by online geeks and gamers

Jeffrey Dahmer was a cannibal, Charles Manson was a deranged cult leader and John Wayne Gacy, worst of all, dressed up like a friggin' clown. Yet the complete list of these horrible, horrible murderers - together with dozens of depraved others - is apparently about 3,000 words less significant than thelist of Maverick boss charactersin the Mega Man X series.

And that's compared to thelist of serial killers by country. Look up thelist of serial killers by number of victimsand the difference grows to 6,000. Go ahead and add the two lists together if you want - at 8,000 words total, they still fall short of the sheer terror and infamy inspired by Cyber Peacock, Blizzard Buffalo, Overdrive Ostrich and Armored Armadillo. Ooh, we're getting chills just thinking about them!


Above: The true face of evil


Let's be honest. Who doesn't love Gardulla the Hut? Who didn't have a poster of Cole Fardreamer or Elan Sleazebaggano hanging on their bedroom wall as a kid? Who wouldn't beg their parents to buy them that Klaatu action figure for the holidays?

Qwi Xux, Plo Koon, 2-1B, Chief Chirpa, Yarna D'al Gargan, Baron Soontir Fel, Meewalh, Oola, Commander Cody, Baron Soontir Fel, Trask Ulgo, Gartogg, Wam "Blam" Lufba and, of course, little Windy... all of them are forever entwined in our dreams and imaginations.

Clearly, thelist of minor characters in the Star Wars universeshould be seven times as large as the page on theFounding Fathers of the United States. Clearly.

Also more important than the Founding Fathers!

Minor Star Wars droids= 10,105
Minor Star Wars villains= 9,648
Minor Star Wars bounty hunters= 5,236
Minor Sonic the Hedgehog characters= 12,595
Minor Mortal Kombat characters= 6,286
Minor StarCraft characters= 5,640
Minor One Piece characters= 17,446
Minor Sailor Moon characters= 7,251
Minor Gundam Wing mobile suits= 3,584
Minor recurring characters in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine= 5,097


Heed our warning - Wikipedia is only the beginning. Soon, textbooks will have entire chapters devoted to fairies and fishmen. Language students will learn Goron instead of Greek. History class will forgo the Romans for the Rito, while anthropology discards the Spanish and Swedish for the Subrosians and Skull Kids.

Nonsense, you say? Tell that tothe 730 million residents of Europe, whose deep and diverse ethnic backgrounds just got pwned bya bunch of elves, gnomes, talking twigs, golden frogs and mutant chickens.
Oh yeah, and Tingle.

Also more important than the population of Europe!

Elder Scroll races= 8,489
Pokemon types= 4,362
Final Fantasy monsters= 6,637
Halo aliens= 5,478
Middle-earth orcs= 4,845
Fictional cats= 10,248
Fictional dragons= 8,651
(there are non-fictional dragons?)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I enjoy sunshine, the company of kittens and turning frowns upside down. I am also a fan of sarcasm. Let's be friends!

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