The Worst Celebrity Renders of All Time

In the original Spider-Man film, Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive arachnid and gains the powers of extraordinary strength, agility and reflexes. In a slight twist, however, the game based on the movie has Peter bitten by a radioactive marshmallow, gaining only the power of extraordinary puffiness. Both heroes could stick to walls, meaning the action remained largely unchanged.

This new origin proved so popular that, by Spider-Man 3, every character had been given a spongy and gelatinous makeover.

Above: The s'more, the better! (Sorry. We'll stop now.)

Breaking the fourth wall, Hulk's leading man lets us know exactly how he feels about his appearance in the game. That or his giant green alter ego is about to emerge through a single bulging eyeball. Or he just saw Bill Murray.

Whatever the hell's going on here, you can't help but share in his comically over emphasized pain.

We can excuse the blocky pixels and disjointed polygons; after all, Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi is another PS1 game. But unless Han Solo and Chewbacca sired a secret son we don't know about, we simply can't forgive that fugtastic dog mug. Yuck.

Incredibly, though, this is the rare instance in which Harrison Ford looks wrong in a game. We've played his characters on practically every console in every generation and, somehow, his trademark stubble and sarcasm always shine through.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for his costars...

Um, Leia? Maybe you should put the bounty hunter helmet back on... No no, not the metal bikini. Just the helmet. Thanks.

Come on, now... Mark Hamill's car accident wasn't THAT bad.


  • Wes-scarborough - December 7, 2011 7:16 a.m.

    Hahaha holyy shitt....this was hilarious, I was laughing so hard reading this I swear to God, too funny... keep up the good/hilarious work.
  • kalebm9 - July 18, 2011 1:14 p.m.

    Iwas laghing so hard at bill murry I thot id fall out of my rocker
  • FanofSaiyan - January 1, 2010 3:44 a.m.

    The most painful thing in Tony Hawks career... besides his broken bones.
  • Rasy2kG - October 7, 2008 5:30 a.m.

    I think Val Kilmer's render in will Willow is pretty bad ass
  • kaoticfish - December 6, 2008 10:35 a.m.

    lol great article.
  • statuslegendary - November 26, 2008 6:35 a.m.

    Spot on, I laughed so hard at the bit about Sly. Whoever crafted that gem of a likeness over at Nintendo is a genius! Great article as usual.
  • Flopsy - October 6, 2008 3:35 p.m.

    It's "fiesta" and not "siesta" under the Goldeneye entry. Fiesta is a party and siesta is a nap.
  • midknight8 - October 5, 2008 11:11 p.m.

    Bill murray killed my parents in a clown suit too...
  • TheGreatHobbe - October 4, 2008 5:42 p.m.

    everyone from spiderman 3 scares me
  • MultiGamer - October 4, 2008 4:51 p.m.

    First! That Bill Murray one was hilarious, also the jackie chan one.
  • linkganon - July 31, 2009 4:17 a.m.

    sorry, misspelled daniel craig.
  • linkganon - July 31, 2009 4:15 a.m.

    even though the characters on goldeneye do not resemble the characters on the movies, it is still #1 bond game ever, strange that the more realistic james bond games became, the worse the gameplay got. last thing to mention, best multiplayer bond game has to be nightfire since 7 computers can join in even if there are 1 to 4 players playing, but single player is better so goldeneye is still better than all of the bond games. i am surprised that goldeneye is still 30-40 dollars at one store yet all the bond games for gamecube ps2 x box ps3 and x box 360 excluding the danier craig one is 10 dollars max.
  • titansfan - July 30, 2009 8:07 a.m.

    great article as always
  • SandroTheMaster - July 30, 2009 6:22 a.m.

    "Fun Fact#2: The japanese believe David Bowie is the Devil" For all the freaking Gods and Devils, the David Bowie one me laugh so hard I thought I'd die (again). Also, the Macaulay Culkin's gave me a frightening flashback that I don't even know where it came from (and I really, really don't want to remember).
  • Gsindahouse - July 29, 2009 8:50 p.m.

    pretty funny, man No, seriously...funny...real funny WHAT THE HECK! on the spock thing, though otherwise that joke about the propaganda poster was mercilessly hilarious I'm in the middle of a library, okay go easy on me
  • LycanFox1 - May 25, 2009 1:29 p.m.

    omg Harry Potter looks like a retard!
  • youtouchedme2xtdar - May 12, 2009 4:12 p.m.

    lovin it
  • BuckyKat - March 18, 2009 6:38 p.m.

    The developer of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves only had the rights to make a game based on the movie. They didn't get the rights to use any of the actor's likenesses which is why Robin Hood doesn't look anything like Kevin Costner nor do any of the other characters look like the actual actors that portrayed them.
  • Mavarious - March 18, 2009 2:38 a.m.

    hehehe, that was hilarious
  • Oxfordcomma4 - February 27, 2009 12:28 a.m.

    Chuck Norris = burger head on karate robes? FTW Julia roberts = fairy butterfly thing? FT... wait... OK

Showing 1-20 of 26 comments

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