Google+

The Worst Celebrity Renders of All Time

 

We know what you're thinking. "Those don't look that bad!" Okay, so Cameron Diaz has been replaced with some generic extra straight out of central casting, Drew Barrymore has been replaced with the dude from Mask and Lucy Liu has been replaced by a shiny plastic bobble head. Relatively, though, they're pretty damn good.

Ah, but then you actually play the game...
(Warning: Playing of game not recommended.)


Above: Hellooooooo... ladies?

You may have wondered why Charlie's Angels only released on GameCube back in 2003. You're probably not wondering that anymore.



 

You know those sidewalk cartoonists who caricaturize celebrities by emphasizing and exaggerating their most infamous features? Who turn a big smile into the Joker's grin, or a prominent nose into Mount Everest? Something tells us one of them got a job working on Rambo for the NES.

Even funnier than Stallone's mouth breathing, jowl hanging 8-bit appearance, however, is how eerily it predicts his genuine appearance 20 years later. What was kind of cruel in 1988 has become completely accurate in 2008... though we're still not sure where the bright orange hair and chalk white skin came from.



 

Which Will Smith render reigns supreme? Bad Boys: Miami Takedown deserves definite props for recognizing that - yes - Will Smith's character does indeed wear a tank top in the movie. But Men in Black II: Alien Escape's rocking a suit and sunglasses combo. Now that's attention to detail!

Unfortunately, since the heads sitting atop both these meticulously reconstructed outfits bear absolutely no resemblance to Will Smith's actual head, we're going to have to disqualify them. If only we had a Legend of Bagger Vance render to show us the way...

Below: Does Martin Lawrence look any better in Bad Boys: Miami Takedown? Well, he does have a mustache...

 




We have a question for the folks who made Ghostbusters on Sega Genesis: What did Bill Murray do to you? Did he haunt your dreams as a child? Did he murder and devour your parents while dressed as a clown? Seriously, is there something we should know about this guy? We ask because you've portrayed him as not one, not two, but THREE totally different - yet equally sinister - monsters.

In the intro graphic - shown above - he watches us silently from the shadows, a killing machine as patient and persistent as Jason Voorhees. A few seconds later, he's Hannibal Lecter, leering at us hungrily through his plastic death mask.

When we finally start the game, we're greeted by his most unfamiliar, and therefore most frightening, form of all... something the villagers will no doubt name the Murraycapra or Billy Man, but which we can merely describe - for now - with a scream and a whimper.

We Recommend By ZergNet

26 comments

  • Wes-scarborough - December 7, 2011 7:16 a.m.

    Hahaha holyy shitt....this was hilarious, I was laughing so hard reading this I swear to God, too funny... keep up the good/hilarious work.
  • kalebm9 - July 18, 2011 1:14 p.m.

    Iwas laghing so hard at bill murry I thot id fall out of my rocker
  • FanofSaiyan - January 1, 2010 3:44 a.m.

    The most painful thing in Tony Hawks career... besides his broken bones.
  • Rasy2kG - October 7, 2008 5:30 a.m.

    I think Val Kilmer's render in will Willow is pretty bad ass
  • kaoticfish - December 6, 2008 10:35 a.m.

    lol great article.
  • statuslegendary - November 26, 2008 6:35 a.m.

    Spot on, I laughed so hard at the bit about Sly. Whoever crafted that gem of a likeness over at Nintendo is a genius! Great article as usual.
  • Flopsy - October 6, 2008 3:35 p.m.

    It's "fiesta" and not "siesta" under the Goldeneye entry. Fiesta is a party and siesta is a nap.
  • midknight8 - October 5, 2008 11:11 p.m.

    Bill murray killed my parents in a clown suit too...
  • TheGreatHobbe - October 4, 2008 5:42 p.m.

    everyone from spiderman 3 scares me
  • MultiGamer - October 4, 2008 4:51 p.m.

    First! That Bill Murray one was hilarious, also the jackie chan one.
  • linkganon - July 31, 2009 4:17 a.m.

    sorry, misspelled daniel craig.
  • linkganon - July 31, 2009 4:15 a.m.

    even though the characters on goldeneye do not resemble the characters on the movies, it is still #1 bond game ever, strange that the more realistic james bond games became, the worse the gameplay got. last thing to mention, best multiplayer bond game has to be nightfire since 7 computers can join in even if there are 1 to 4 players playing, but single player is better so goldeneye is still better than all of the bond games. i am surprised that goldeneye is still 30-40 dollars at one store yet all the bond games for gamecube ps2 x box ps3 and x box 360 excluding the danier craig one is 10 dollars max.
  • titansfan - July 30, 2009 8:07 a.m.

    great article as always
  • SandroTheMaster - July 30, 2009 6:22 a.m.

    "Fun Fact#2: The japanese believe David Bowie is the Devil" For all the freaking Gods and Devils, the David Bowie one me laugh so hard I thought I'd die (again). Also, the Macaulay Culkin's gave me a frightening flashback that I don't even know where it came from (and I really, really don't want to remember).
  • Gsindahouse - July 29, 2009 8:50 p.m.

    pretty funny, man No, seriously...funny...real funny WHAT THE HECK! on the spock thing, though otherwise that joke about the propaganda poster was mercilessly hilarious I'm in the middle of a library, okay go easy on me
  • LycanFox1 - May 25, 2009 1:29 p.m.

    omg Harry Potter looks like a retard!
  • youtouchedme2xtdar - May 12, 2009 4:12 p.m.

    lovin it
  • BuckyKat - March 18, 2009 6:38 p.m.

    The developer of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves only had the rights to make a game based on the movie. They didn't get the rights to use any of the actor's likenesses which is why Robin Hood doesn't look anything like Kevin Costner nor do any of the other characters look like the actual actors that portrayed them.
  • Mavarious - March 18, 2009 2:38 a.m.

    hehehe, that was hilarious
  • Oxfordcomma4 - February 27, 2009 12:28 a.m.

    Chuck Norris = burger head on karate robes? FTW Julia roberts = fairy butterfly thing? FT... wait... OK

Showing 1-20 of 26 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000

OR…

Connect with Facebook

Log in using Facebook to share comments, games, status update and other activity easily with your Facebook feed.