5. Counter Force (Wii, released Oct. 3)
Art intern: Is this stupid robot seriously the only piece of art they sent us?
Art director: Well, no. They also sent us a render of a huge, throbbing penis. But putting that on the cover translates to poor sales in certain parts of the country.
Art intern: So what do you want me to do with it?
Art director: Just put a big lens flare on it somewhere and let's call it a day.
Art intern: Are you sure? I could do, like, a stylized outline, or…
Art director: You think you're too good for lens flare, you little son of a bitch?
Art intern: Wha-
Art director: (Punching noises)
4. American Girl: Julie Finds A Way (DS, released Dec. 3)
You think this image is innocent? Lighthearted? Yeah, no. See that giant lever? It's dumping a gallon of pig's blood all over Carrie right now. And Julie is laughing. But she'll see. Oh, soon they'll all see.
3. Trauma Center: New Blood (Wii, released Nov. 20)
To the casual observer, this game is either about very basic math or about a game publisher getting hauled into court for stamping the Red Cross logo on its product. Either way, a box that features nothing whatsoever to get excited about is not a box for which we're going to fork over $50.
2. OMG 26: Our Mini Games (DS, released Oct. 30)
Hmmm... "Books," "Rock" or "Buy Something Else?" Decisions, decisions...
1. Monster Trux Arenas: Special Edition (Wii, released Sept. 25)
This is, without a doubt, the worst cover we've seen all year. There's no central image, and we don't get a clear look at anything except truck undercarriages. The logo was spelled by an idiot, "aReNAs" is needlessly intercapped and there's no good goddamn reason for another monster truck to be perched on top. Looking at this feels like a redneck is vomiting trucks into our eyeballs. We can even hear him bellowing his approval of the trucks and their actions between heaves. Effing atrocious.